


Medical School AU

by hiJaq



Category: Saving Hope, lintz
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-10-29 08:27:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10850205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiJaq/pseuds/hiJaq
Summary: Maggie Lin and Sydney Katz meet, fight, and fall in love at Harvard Medical School. Slow burn, sorta.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is encouraging. Also, feel free to let me know if I've made any errors.

Maggie tore across the quad in a full run, glancing at her watch every five seconds, willing the ticking arms to slow down. She thought about all the ways she could have saved a minute here and a minute there. It was a futile exercise that only made her feel more frustrated. She had been warned about Dr. Dragon. She had prepared for Dr. Dragon. She had set eight alarms. She picked her outfit out the night before. She even put a breakfast bar on the counter. She knew that in exactly two minutes and four seconds Dr. Dragon would lock the door, with or without her in the room, and her entire future depended on whether she was on the right side of that door.

She turned a corner, and skidded to a halt in the classroom, slowing herself down with one hand gripped on the door frame. She looked up at the clock on the back wall, pumping a small fist in victory. Her celebration was short lived when she looked around the room and realized each of her friends had already paired up without her. Alex was silently communicating _where the hell have you been_ with her eyes to Maggie as she passed, but then her head snapped to face the front of the room when the door shut behind a tall, blonde woman. A click of the lock immediately echoed in the tense and terrified silence. 

And then suddenly there was a flurry of noise. Everyone had an assignment to do, and they began immediately pulling out their materials to prepare. 

Maggie scanned the room with renewed panic, looking for an odd man out to join forces with. She had practiced with Alex. She had planned for Alex. And now she was-

"Don't even think about it," Maggie warned when she saw the red hair hovering in her peripheral vision. She didn't feel anger all the way down to her bones quite like she used to, but she was a creature of habit, and hating Sydney Katz had certainly become a comfortable and cozy habit. 

"Oh my God, Maggie. It was last year. Besides, we're the only two left, so you don't have a choice. It's me or failure."

"I'll take failure," Maggie said in a petulant tone as Sydney hopped up on the table. 

"You seem to make that choice a lot for someone who wants to be a doctor."

"Nope. No. No. Absolut-" 

"Alright, alright," Sydney said, trying to keep Maggie quiet before The Dragon heard them. "Look, I'm sorry, can we just please do this and get it over with." Sydney gave her a once over. "I don't like this anymore than you do," She ended, her hands gesturing around. 

Maggie responded to Sydney's desperate and sensible plea with silent defeat. She pressed her lips together, pulled out the script she'd stayed up until midnight writing, and refused to make direct eye contact with her new lab partner. 

"Alright, listen up!" 

Maggie finally got a good look at The Dragon. She was prettier than she thought she would be. "My name is Dr. Bell. I have the misfortune of being your Clinical Medicine professor. You all have the next twenty minutes to take your patient's history, discover their cardinal symptoms, diagnose them, and identify common treatment modalities. And you'll do it all while demonstrating ethical and professional behavior." Sydney gave her a pointed look at those words, which Maggie felt, and then chose to ignore.

"When I tell you to switch, the doctor will become the patient, and you'll do it all over again. Your conditions are on the piece of paper taped to the bottom of your chair. Do not confide them in your partner. I will know." She scanned the room with icy blue eyes. "I'll be walking around the room watching and listening. At the end, I'll ask each team to present their findings to the class. You will each also evaluate your partner for the class." The professor finally paused after her long and intimidating list of instructions, waited a beat, and said, "Welcome to year two. You may now begin." 

Maggie looked Sydney dead in her eyes. She was silently conveying the warning - _If you give me a bad evaluation, I will destroy you._

"You're not even a little bit intimidating. Just follow the rules, and we won't have any problems." 

Maggie didn't have time to respond because just then Dr. Bell clicked past their table in her heels, startling her into abruptly starting her lines.

"Okay, Mrs-"

"It's Ms." 

Maggie shot the tiniest of eye daggers at Sydney before continuing.

"Sorry, _Ms._ Katz," Maggie emphasized. "My name is Dr. Lin, and I'll be treating you today. What brings you in?" Maggie glanced at her script preparing her next statement.

"Breast tenderness," Sydney said, her tone completely even.

Maggie's head whipped back up, her eyes big and round. The universe has got to be kidding. She realized immediately this meant that she was going to have to feel up her least favorite person in all of Harvard Medical School. In front of Dr. Dragon.

She tripped on her words slightly, "And, uh, this tenderness..." Maggie began, staring intently at Sydney's face, avoiding glancing downwards at all costs, "When did it start?" Maggie went through all of her lines determined not to let Sydney Katz know just how nervous she was to do this. 

When the time came for the physical portion, Maggie glanced desperately back at Alex looking for some kind of strength. Alex was immersed in a patient experience of her own with a six foot, six-packed, brown eyed babe of a transfer student. She gets all the luck. She took in a short breath, and reached a hand towards Sydney's chest. It just kind of hung there in midair, unresponsive. 

"Oh for God's sake, Lin, here." Sydney took Maggie's floating hand and placed it on her left breast.

"Go on, manipulate the field," Sydney urged, exasperated, when Maggie had just let her hand sit there for a full two seconds. "Let's get this over with."

Sydney's face quickly followed Maggie's averted eyes, catching them. It was then that Maggie noticed Sydney's eyes were more timid than her actions or voice let on. They were also sort of green. Maybe hazel. Definitely flecks of gold interspersed throughout. _Nice._

And just like that Maggie Lin was feeling something very strong for Sydney Katz, and to her absolute horror, it wasn't anything close to anger. 

///

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Sydney said, her tone dripping with attitude. And fear. There was definitely fear in her eyes too. Odd.

"Uh, sorry, Ms. Katz, I'll just..." the hostility was all Maggie needed to clear her head and perform a textbook manual check for breast cancer. She would obviously send her patient to get a mammogram, blood work, and a biopsy. Nonetheless, she had to work with what she had here. She donned her perfect doctor robot face. This breast was a field. It was not a boob. It was glands, ducts, muscle, and tissue. It was not attached to any particular woman. Attractive, evil, or otherwise. It was all going so well until she accidentally brushed past what was unmistakably a tiny, hard nipple. _Well, those were certainly in perfect working order._ Maggie's eyebrows rose slightly and she bit her bottom lip. 

Maggie ordered her thoughts away as quickly as they came. A flash of her mouth on that nipple definitely did not just flit across her mind totally uninvited. 

"Alright. Looks like you have stage four breast cancer. We'll need to biopsy to be sure, but you're probably going to die. So sad." Maggie ended her diagnosis with dripping sarcasm. Old habits die hard - or are leaned on desperately when in uncharted territory. 

Whatever brief truce that had occurred between them before ended roughly with that remark, and Sydney hopped down from the table rolling her eyes.

Maggie pulled a piece of paper out from under her chair, and hopped up, taking Sydney's place. She looked down at the paper. _Heart Attack._

_Well, I've definitely got this one in the bag,_ Maggie thought, as she dramatically clutched her chest over her erratically beating heart. 

"What seems to be the problem, Ms. Lin?"

"Well my chest, right here," Maggie's hand remained over her heart. "It's hurting. And my right arm," She flapped it dramatically. "Numb." 

Sydney pulled out her stethoscope. _Shit,_ Maggie thought. My heartbeat. She willed her body to calm down as Sydney gestured to her blouse. Maggie nodded her head, and Sydney thought about pulling down the top of it, but decided to go up through the bottom instead. Sydney was very professional, but Maggie was acutely aware that Sydney's hand was underneath her shirt. Maggie shut her eyes at the feel of the cold metal pressed to her very hot skin.

"Your heart," Sydney said with confusion on her face, "It's beating really fast. Is that normal for you?" She pressed two warm fingers to the pulse point on Maggie's wrist, counting silently, looking slightly concerned.

"Yeah, well, in case you missed my grand entrance, I ran here all the way from my apartment with twenty seconds to spare, so." She brushed her hair back behind her shoulders in a nervous tick, breaking Sydney's contact with her wrist. Maggie's eyes had been shut tight in total panic, and she opened them to see if Sydney bought it. She still looked unsure. "And my soul sucking arch nemesis has her hand up my shirt, dangerously close to my vulnerable, soft underbelly," She added for effect. 

Sydney made a face of disapproval and took her hand and stethoscope out from under Maggie's shirt. 

"I didn't know we were arch nemeses." 

Hook, line, and sinker. 

///

Maggie cornered Sydney at the water fountain after class. "Careless Answer? Unprofessional demeanor? Reluctant to perform a basic breast examination? In front of the whole class? In front of Dr. Bell? It was _so_ humiliating. Why would you do that?!"

"It was my assignment. I had to give you a proper evaluation," Sydney said defensively and with absolutely no shame in her voice. 

"It was just the first day assignment."

"You gave joke answers and made the whole exercise pointless. That's not acceptable."

"You know me. You know that I knew the answers."

"Well, you didn't give them. And I'm not going to lie for you. You answer like that, and you'll fail part one of the USMLE. I'm helping you. Don't take it so personally." 

"But I am a person. I have feelings."

"About that. I'm going to have to confide in Dr. Bell about what happened last year since we're working together in this class."

"And how is that helping me exactly?"

"It's helping you to keep your _feelings_ separate from your studies." 

Maggie turned angrily away from Sydney and stormed down the hallway. 

///

"I can't believe you got stuck with Katz. Karma for eating my last slice of pizza yesterday without telling me," Alex said, and then both Alex and Zach laughed at Maggie's expense as they headed to grab lunch. 

"What was that she said? Reluctant to perform a breast exam?" Zach guffawed. "No shit. The last thing you'd want is to feel up Sydney Katz, the person who almost ruined your medical career before it started."

"I bet it was the most action she's seen in her life," Alex added snidely. She always came to Maggie's defense, even when Maggie was totally, absolutely, in the wrong. 

Maggie felt a twinge of guilt. She normally loved shit talking Katz, but this time something didn't feel right. She decided to change the subject.

"Your lab partner was quite handsome. And did I detect an accent?" The deflection worked, and for the next two hours Maggie didn't think of Sydney Katz, her stage four breast cancer, or her infuriating evaluation. Not even once.

Until a random redhead walked by. For a second Maggie had hoped it was - no. She was not going there. Sydney Katz was still the same irritating, uptight, betrayer she always was. With pretty eyes. And whatever her stupid hormones were doing to her body, they weren't about to win over those facts. Cute, adorable freckles aside, they belonged to a mad woman who was clearly out to ruin her career. A stuffy, four-eyed, dowdy-skirt-wearing, orthodox tattle tale that she would not spend another second thinking about. 

///

"Has Sydney Katz dated anyone in our class?" Maggie asked out of nowhere the next night to a suddenly very awake Alex. Their Grey's Anatomy marathon had left them all rather snoozy. 

"Um. No. She doesn't date. She destroys. What's with the sudden curiosity?"

"Nothing. Just wondering." 

"She strikes me as 100% nonsexual. I bet two Virginia hams that she's still a virgin," Zach offered from his spot on the floor.

"Why do you sound like you've thought about this before?" Maggie asked him, amused.

"Because I have," Zach stated matter of factly. "But I decided against it. She's obviously only interested in Jewish men."

"Oh yeah, Orthodox Jews can only date other Jews, right?" Maggie asked, already knowing the answer.

"Probably. I don't think there's anyone else in our class that's Orthodox. I can't imagine living my life like that," Alex said before putting a few pieces of popcorn in her mouth.

"Same." Maggie said, finally snapping out of it. "Totally."

///

"That's not how you do it, Maggie."

"Sydney, I swear to God if you say one more - there! Perfect."

Sydney pushed her aside to see the stitching for her own eyes. 

"What, you think I wasn't going to be able to do it?" Maggie said in a proud, sing-song voice.

"No, I know you're fully capable. Very steady hands." A small blush crept over Sydney's cheeks. 

"Was that a compliment?"

"No." Sydney said looking at her like she was a bug. "It's just a fact that I said out loud. About you."

"Mmhmm. Sounded pretty complimenty to me. You're also blushing."

"Get over yourself, Maggie."

Maggie smiled a scrunchy, closed mouth smile. A few weeks into the semester and Maggie was actually, secretly, very much enjoying being Sydney's lab partner for Clinical. Aside from the first terrible day, it seemed like Sydney was trying her best to be nice to Maggie. She realized that tomorrow was Friday already, and she wouldn't see her again until Monday. 

Maggie pulled her surgical mask off and turned toward Sydney who was still practicing stitching on her cadaver. "Hey, so, I was wondering. If maybe...you wanted to go study or something tomorrow."

"Me?" Sydney asked the question in an odd tone, still concentrating on her stitches. 

"Yeah. You know, I just thought maybe we could swap old tests or something-"

"I don't study with people, Maggie. Not since..."

"Oh. Okay." And Maggie turned to finish her stitches without another word until the end of class.

She finished packing her bag and was about to join Alex, Joel, and Zach, who were waiting outside the room, when she saw Sydney walking directly toward her. She took a breath to say something, but Maggie cut her off.

"Just forget it. I don't know why I asked that earlier. Stupid." Maggie was flustered and her long fingers swirled in the air as she looked for her words. 

"No, Maggie. It's me who needs to forget it." Sydney played with her own hands nervously as she entered Maggie's personal space. "I like you, Maggie. I want to put all that stuff from last year behind us."

"Me too."

Sydney smiled a quick, nervous smile. "I think I may have been too hard on you. With the whole evaluation thing. There were certain parts of it that you were actually very, _very_ good at." 

Maggie looked like she was inflating from happiness. Was Sydney flirting? Her big brown eyes danced in amusement. "Thank you. Yeah, these last few weeks have been ... good." They stared at each other for a beat. 

_Sydney likes her._ Maggie suddenly remembered her blunt words from a moment ago. She felt what might have been the beginnings of tiny, flapping butterflies in her stomach, when suddenly Zach hollered from the hall, "Let's go Angelina, I feel like I haven't eaten since Tuesday."

"You better go join your friends."

"Okay, but about tomorrow. Did you still want-" 

And then Sydney Katz, out of nowhere, kissed her square on the mouth. Maggie lifted a hesitant hand to the side of Sydney's face, but by then, it was over. Sydney walked straight out of the classroom without another word.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback and edits are always appreciated.

///

"What's up with you and Katz, Maggie? I'm sensing a budding friendship." Zach poked at Maggie, his favorite pastime. 

"Well, you're sensing wrong," Maggie said, just to be contrary, but immediately admitted defeat, "Okay, so we are going to study tomorrow. And she kissed me."

"She what?"  
"Come again,"  
"She what?" Alex, Zach, and Joel said in unison. 

"She kissed me. Just now. After class."

"It was my Angelina comment wasn't it? Got your wheels turning," Zach nodded his head and grinned.

"Ew stop. It had nothing to do with you."

Alex was still staring at Maggie like she'd grown a third head. 

"Maggie, don't you remember? How could you - it's Sydney Katz." Alex sputtered out half finished thoughts.

"Yes, of course I remember! Look, I don't know what it means, so don't make a big deal about it." Maggie was gesturing wildly and defensively with an apple in her hand. Just then Sydney entered the lunch hall, distracting her. The group followed her eyes.

They looked around at each other in complete disbelief. 

Joel offered, "Sometimes a kiss is just a kiss, mate. I wouldn't dwell on it," He and Alex shared a quick glance. 

But no one sitting there believed a word of that as Maggie nodded her head absentmindedly, still staring in Sydney's direction. 

///

Maggie waited nervously outside of the med building for Sydney on Monday morning before class. She hadn't responded to any of her text messages, or her Facebook message. She even liked the Instagram picture Sydney posted of her breakfast on Sunday morning. And yet nothing. 

Maggie made out red hair in the distance and felt her heartbeat pick up. She wished it would stop doing that. Makes her breath short and her palms sweaty. She wiped them clean on her pants and fixed a smile to her face. 

"Maggie," Sydney said flatly in greeting when she got close enough. No change in her facial expression. 

Well, huh. 

"Sydney," Maggie mocked back in the same flat, serious voice. Sydney glanced at her, annoyed, as Maggie joined her pace and walked with her to class.

"Here, let me help with your books." Sydney was carrying a pile of textbooks, a coffee, and was strapped to a completely stuffed backpack. Altogether, she looked like a huge, yet tiny, spill hazard. 

Sydney reluctantly allowed Maggie to take some of her books. 

"I spent this weekend with my boyfriend." Sydney offered out of nowhere.

Maggie tried to contain her amused disbelief at what she was hearing. "Oh. I didn't realize you were dating anyone."

"Yeah, we just made it official on Saturday. He's Jewish, Orthodox of course, in law school right here at Harvard, and tall. We've been dating for about a week now." Sydney sounded like she was reading off of a check list. 

"Ever heard of taking it slow?" Maggie said sarcastically. She could not figure this woman out. 

"He's perfect for me. There's no reason to wait."

As they entered the classroom together Maggie said teasingly, "Um, I can think of one."

Sydney sat down and immediately began unpacking her backpack. She immersed herself into her notes on her laptop, and seemed absolutely done with making conversation. Zach glanced back and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at Maggie. She rolled her eyes, but grinned at him anyway. Idiot. 

Dr. Bell and her heels came clacking in, locked the door, and started lecturing almost immediately. Maggie kept glancing at Sydney from the corner of her eye, the girl was taking notes like a mad woman, and refusing to look in Maggie's direction. 

Maggie had been quietly packing her stuff. She sent a text to the group chat telling them to not wait for her today after class, and then muted her notifications so she didn't have to read their predictable responses. 

Just as she thought, Sydney shot up the moment the lecture was over and tried to make a run for it. Maggie caught up to her on the stairs and blocked her exit playfully. 

"Maggie. I know you probably want an explanation as to why-"

"You kissed me. The kiss. We kissed."

"It was nothing."

"Well, I'm not saying it was something, but it wasn't nothing. Why'd you do it?"

"Maybe.....I was bored." Sydney said flustered. 

"So, I should be flattered?" 

"Oh get over yourself, Maggie. Just forget it ever happened," And then Sydney dodged out of Maggie's path and scurried further down the steps. 

"Is that what your doing? You just picked up a boyfriend you hardly know."

"I want to have a boyfriend. Do you know how hard it is to find an orthodox guy willing to date a girl like me around here?"

"Okay, but you don't have to settle for the first one that takes you out."

"Maggie, I want to be his girlfriend." 

"But do you even like him?" Maggie asked incredulously. Sydney ignored the question, practically running the rest of the way down the steps from Maggie. 

Maggie turned to go back up the stairs, laughing to herself over how ridiculous this whole thing was. 

///

Sydney looked through the little window of Maggie's study room, staring at her for a minute. She walked in without knocking and slid into the chair next to hers. 

"When are you going to do something about that hair." 

Maggie reached up to touch her hair, feeling insecure. 

"You're in a chipper mood this morning."

"Hershel wants to......" Sydney trailed off.

Maggie perked up. Could Sydney be talking about what she thinks she's talking about? She turned her head giving Sydney her undivided attention. 

"Hershel wants to what? Do your people even do that before marriage?"

"What? Oh God, Maggie, no. Hershel wants to meet my friends."

"Oh. Well. What's the big deal about that?"

"The big deal, Maggie, is that I don't really have any."

"You have me." 

"Are we friends?" Sydney asked her very seriously. 

"Yeah, of course we are. I don't kiss people without at least being friends first."

"Stop," Sydney shot a warning look Maggie's way. 

"So when and where?"

"What do you mean?"

"When and where am I going to meet him?"

"Really? You'd meet him for me? Do you think-" Sydney looked up, bracing herself for something. "Do you think Alex, Zach, and Joel would want to come?"

"Do I? Well, yeah! Of course they would," Maggie said over enthusiastically, her nose twitching. 

"Forget it."

"No, we'll be there. I promise." 

Maggie looked longingly at the door when Sydney left. Friends with Sydney. Friends is good. When her heartbeat finally slowed down, she returned to the giant textbook in front of her.

///

"Please. Please. Please. I will owe you guys big time. I will do anything. Say the word." Maggie was begging the group at Alex's apartment that same night.

"When are you going to let this thing with Sydney go? She's got a boyfriend." Alex had been the least supportive of her crush on Sydney. 

"Obviously I know that. Because _we're all_ going to meet him." She made a circle gesture to the group. "And please, it doesn't mean anything, they've been together for like two weeks. I've got this."

"She seems pretty serious about him." Zach said simply, cracking open a textbook. 

Maggie shook off her irritation at the direction the conversation was going in. 

"Mamaleh's at 8 o'clock tomorrow. Don't be late." Maggie said pulling on her coat.

"Where are you going?"

"Hair appointment."

"At 10pm?"

"Shahir's sister cuts my hair. She's got a certificate."

"Ah, that explains it," Joel said absentmindedly.

///

"You're Maggie. Maggie Maggie. Wow, you're THE Maggie."

"The one and only, yeah." Maggie had gotten there early so Sydney wouldn't get worried about whether or not she was coming. She was now sitting across from Hershel. One on one. Just them. All alone. 

"I hope we get along. Sydney says you get your back up easy, especially around men." 

Maggie crossed her arms, "She said that?"

"Oh yeah, favorite Maggie story is when you two first met and you-" 

"I don't think you two even knew each other then, did you?" Maggie was trying her best not to get possessive. Or 'get her back up' or whatever. 

"Yeah, but I hear it all."

"Hmm," Maggie smiled awkwardly. 

"You're suspicious of online shopping, you put butter on your meat sandwiches-"

"Really, Maggie?" Zach had just arrived and shot a grossed out look in Maggie's direction before taking a seat. 

Maggie gave him a ' _don't even think about having an opinion on this_ ' look.

"You show promise, but you're impatient with your studies." Maggie's facial expression morphed into polite disagreement, but Hershel continued, not noticing.

"But I'm sure she goes on about me too, right?!" 

"Oh yes! And how!" Maggie said, scrunching up her nose trying to think of anything Sydney's ever said about him. 

"Huh. Sydney was right. Your nose does kind of twitch when you're fibbing."

"This guy could write a book about you, Maggie!" Zach said, sensing that Maggie needed saving. 

"Hershel, this is another friend of ours, Zach. Zach, meet Hershel."

"Nice to meet you there, my man," Zach clasped Hershel's hand. "What's good on this menu?" One thing Zach was really good at was making things better.

///

"Well, I know when to admit I'm wrong. She's in love with you. It's almost creepy." 

"Not helping, Zach," Maggie let her head drop and just kind of hang over her beer. Her fourth beer. 

"I can't believe I missed it." Alex was sipping on a vodka soda, still berating herself for being late. Her and Joel had walked in halfway through the dinner. Suspiciously at the same time.

Maggie saw Joel's hand on Alex's thigh under their table, and quirked an eyebrow in her direction. Alex silently shook her head so Maggie wouldn't say anything. 

"Yeah, this guy knew everything about Maggie down to how she liked to eat her sandwiches. Do you think she has, like, a book on you? Like notes on her favorite subject: Maggie." Zach gestured with his hands when he said Maggie's name like she was on a billboard. 

"No, come on. I mean, I don't think so. I think it's kind of.....cute." Maggie started out flustered but ended with a slight blush. 

The group exchanged glances and then ordered another round. 

"So, how are we going to get you the girl, then?" Joel said, smiling fondly at Maggie. 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback and edits always welcome.

"What are you doing tonight?" Maggie slid into the lounge chair next to Sydney's, staring at her intently. She had books and papers laid out all over the table and a bag of almonds which Maggie helped herself to. 

"What I do every night. Study." Sydney didn't look up from the textbook as she spoke. 

"Right. Well-"

They were interrupted. 

"Hershel!" Sydney smiled, eyes darting to Maggie and back to Hershel again, her hand nervously going to her hair. "What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to see the med building and bring you lunch." He was holding a brown paper bag. "Maggie," he gave a nerdy little bow in Maggie's direction, greeting her.

"This is a surprise," Sydney said. 

"I am full of surprises," he responded.

Maggie doubted that. 

He pulled out a prepackaged egg salad sandwich from the bag. 

"Oh, I'm allergic to eggs."  
"She's allergic to eggs." Sydney and Maggie said in unison. 

"Oh, I didn't know that," Hershel looked uncomfortable. 

"Yeah, if I eat them I go into anaphylactic shock and die." 

"Well," Hershel chuckled out nervously. "Well, at least you're in the right place if you -" He mimicked choking himself and gestured to the medical students around them. 

Sydney and Hershel laughed a little too hard at that, and Maggie politely smiled. _This is awkward._

"Thank you for the thought. Um. I'll just grab something later. I should probably -" Sydney gestured to her impressive display of study materials laid out in front of her. 

"Yep! Okay, yeah, I'll see you later." He waived goodbye lamely and so did Sydney. Maggie was blowing out a breath she had been holding when Hershel turned right back around and started talking again.

"Do you eat tuna?" Maggie's eyebrows rose at Hershel's question, and she turned to Sydney for her answer. "You know, for future reference, sandwich wise," he ended. Maggie nodded her head completely amused. Fair question.

"You know, I like a nice BLT," Sydney joked. She actually made a joke. Seeing Sydney interacting like this with him was fascinating to Maggie. 

Hershel didn't get it at first, and when he did they both laughed too hard, gesturing awkwardly. 

Maggie watched his retreating form, and when he was out of earshot she said, "That was the most painful interaction I've ever witnessed."

"Shut up, Maggie. He's a nice guy."

"That doesn't negate anything I just said. Why are you with him?" Maggie gestured to where the exchange just took place, like it made her point. 

"If you're going to sit here and insult me about my relationship then I'm going to leave."

"I'm not-" Maggie paused to collect her thoughts. This wasn't going well, so she decided to change gears.

"Come with me to Alex's tonight. She's having some people over."

Sydney contemplated. "Who's going?" 

"Basically everyone in our class."

"Should I invite Hershel?"

"Uh," Maggie scratched the back of her head. "We were hoping it would be just a med school thing." Maggie winced a little when she realized her nose might have done the thing. 

Sydney looked at her, with all of her attention, hopeful almost, and Maggie noticed again how pretty she was. She hid it under clothes, glasses and a grumpy disposition, but Maggie saw it. She'd be blind not to. Even Zach must have noticed if he'd thought about asking her out before. 

"Okay, I'll come," Sydney's face was hard to read, but she broke out in a genuine smile in response to Maggie's. 

"Yes! Great, meet me there at nine!" Maggie hopped up to leave, mission accomplished.

"Maggie?"

"Yeah?"

"Leave my almonds," Maggie dropped the bag back down on the table, and Sydney watched her go. 

///

Maggie opened the door and there was Sydney. In her long skirt and long sleeves, but no glasses. She'd put contacts in. _Eyes_

"Wow."

"What?" Sydney breezed in, no nonsense with a bottle of wine. 

"Where is everyone?" She asked. There was a girl crying on the phone in the bathroom, and a few people in the kitchen, but for the most part the place was deserted. 

"Down at the pool actually. It sort of morphed into a pool party in the last 45 minutes or so." Maggie went to get a wine screw to open Sydney's bottle for her. 

"So Orthodox's can drink?" _Damn, she just lost $20 bucks to Zach._

"Yes, I can if I want to," Sydney said smiling at Maggie, walking in closer. "That's kosher." She pointed to the label on the bottle Maggie was struggling with.

"Hmm, drunk Sydney, I wonder what that's like," Maggie hummed out playfully as she pulled the cork out with a soft pop. 

"Well, keep wondering, because it's not going to happen. Why aren't you down at the pool with your friends?"

"Because I was waiting for you. I can find you a bathing suit if you want to go swim?" 

"No, and before you ask, it's not a religious thing. I just can't swim," Sydney said quickly, but when she saw Maggie's face fall slightly she added, "But I'll go down there with you."

Maggie handed Sydney her beer to hold while she opened the gate to the pool. The smell of chlorine and the sounds of heavy bass thumping and people whooping filled her senses. Her people. 

Zach appeared, shaking his wet hair out like a dog. "Double fisting, Katz? You owe me $20, Maggie, cough up." Sydney was holding her wine and Maggie's beer, but still somehow managed to gesture as she spoke, "You bet actual money on me?" She looked at Maggie pointedly.

"That's not the only bet we have on you."

"Zach," Maggie warned.

"Oh really, like what?" Sydney was talking to Zach, but squinting her eyes at Maggie. 

"Well like if you've ever -" Maggie intervened by pushing Zach in the pool. Several people laughed, and a few girls shrieked when they got splashed. 

Sydney laughed too.

"You're gonna pay for that, Maggie Lin. Enjoy being dry while it lasts," And with that empty threat, Zach turned his attention to a couple of blondes in the pool near him.

Maggie searched for Alex only to realize that she was one half of the couple making out on the steps in the shallow end. Joel being the other half.

Sydney followed her gaze and saw it too. "They make a good couple."

"Yeah," Maggie said still looking at them, some longing in her gaze.

Sydney sat on the edge of the pool, setting the drinks off to the side of her. Maggie took off the cover-up she was wearing, and Sydney looked, taking in all the new parts of Maggie's body she hadn't seen before. Maggie hopped in the pool and dunked her head under water. When she came up she splashed Sydney a little just to see how she'd react.

"Maggie!" Sydney tried in vain to wipe off some of the water. "I don't want to get wet!"

Maggie quirked an eyebrow, "You should get in." 

"I told you I can't swim," Sydney looked away. 

"We'll stay in the parts where you can stand." 

"Not happening."

Maggie grabbed the edge of the pool, and pulled herself closer into where Sydney was sitting.

"Okay, we'll take it slower. Put your feet in." Sydney considered the request and then took off her shoes.

"Yes!" Maggie did a victory flip underwater, reemerging with a huge smile. 

"No, this is as much as I'm getting in. And if you try to pull what you did to Zach on me I'll never talk to you again." 

"Ouch," Maggie playfully covered her heart at Sydney's threat. 

"Are you having another heart attack, Dr. Lin?" Sydney said in reference to their first day of class. She reached down to take Maggie's pulse from her wrist, faux concern in her eyes. 

"Are you trying to play doctor with me, Sydney Katz?"

Sydney looked affectionately down at Maggie, letting her wrist drop, and shaking her head at Maggie's line.

"I'm glad I didn't invite Hershel. He would have definitely not been into this." Maggie rolled her eyes at the mention of him and let go of the side of the pool. Sydney noticed.

"Why don't you like him?"

Maggie was slightly buzzed. Partially on alcohol but mostly on life. She was having a great time and maybe that's why she - 

"It's not that I don't like him, Syd." She grabbed the edge of the pool and pulled herself closer to Sydney again, looking up at her. The front of her body was flush with Sydney's legs and her brave little submerged feet. "It's that I like you."

It was honest. "Maggie I-" Sydney looked down at her, faltering and weakened by her big, warm eyes and her wet, bare skin pressed against her. So much of Maggie was visible right now. She pulled her shirt off, leaving on the black, long sleeve undershirt she always wore, and slipped right into the water in front of Maggie. 

"Syd!" Maggie shrieked in surprise and pure joy. She kept one hand gripped to the side of the pool and protectively wrapped her other arm around Sydney's waist to keep her afloat. "This is the deep end!" 

"Maggie!" Zach shouted over to her. "Let's go! We're playing chicken, and I need my vicious shoulder monkey!"

"Do not let go of me," Sydney warned Maggie. 

"Kinda busy, Zach," Maggie yelled back over her shoulder. 

"Plenty of time to make out with your girlfriend later. The gauntlet has been thrown!!" He splashed around, attracting one of the blondes who climbed up on his shoulders. 

Sydney clutched onto the wall, moving out of Maggie's grasp in response to Zach's words, questioning her decision to get in the pool. She reached for her wine and took a big gulp. 

"Sorry, Syd. He's just-"

"Why would he call me your girlfriend? Why would he even think that?" 

"He didn't mean anything by it. He's just being Zach." 

Just then another guy from their class yelled 'cannon ball!' and a huge tidal wave soaked them both. That did it for Sydney, she pulled herself out and back onto dry land. "I've got to go." She was trying to pull her shoes back on. 

Maggie looked over at the offending cannon baller, frustrated, and pulled herself out of the pool too. 

"Don't go. We can go back up to the apartment and hang out."

"No, I'm soaking wet. I don't know what I was thinking."

"You were just having fun. We were having fun," Maggie said the words quickly. Practically chasing after Sydney to keep up with her fast pace. When they reached the apartment, Sydney was standing fully clothed, soaked, hair sticking to her face, and Maggie was half naked in a bathing suit, not at all caring about that, watching Sydney grab her purse. 

"Sydney stop," Maggie said it with a little more authority in her voice. It was enough to halt Sydney in her tracks, and she finally turned to look at Maggie. 

"I can't do this. I'm sorry. Whatever you and your friends think this is-" she gestured between them, "it's not." 

" _Syd_." Maggie didn't believe this was one sided. Not even for a second. 

"You don't understand," Sydney said it with force. 

"No, I do understand," Maggie said, insisting. 

"You're out of your depth, Maggie," She ended soft and breathy.

"You can be yourself with me. You deserve to be happy," Maggie said, looking meaningfully into Sydney's eyes. 

Sydney covered her mouth with her hand, shaking her head, and walked out of Alex's apartment.

Maggie leaned against the closed door for a moment before walking into Alex's bedroom to get some clean clothes. 

///

Fifteen minutes later, she was laying in Alex's bed, playing soft music, with her eyes closed, thinking about the night. She heard the door open and mentally prepared to be kicked out by Alex and Joel. Instead, she heard the click of the lock, and felt damp fabric land by her head. She opened her eyes and saw Sydney Katz, like a vision, standing next to the bed, without a shirt on. 

Maggie stood up calmly, looming over her by several inches, expectant, body suddenly on fire. 

"I like girls," Maggie's face was knowing and patient in response to the confession, a small smile playing around her lips. 

"There. I said it." Then Sydney closed the gap between them, Maggie's face in her hands, her mouth warm and melting on contact. Maggie pulled Sydney in closer by the back of her neck, licking her way into Sydney's open mouth. She wrapped her arms around Sydney's waist, pulling their hips together, dragging her fingertips up Sydney's spine. She felt Sydney losing some of her control, picking up the pace, and deepening the kiss.

Sydney wanted Maggie to take all of her, to kiss her until she couldn't remember anything else. Their bodies were pressed tight, and she still couldn't get close enough to her, grabbing Maggie's hips and pulling them into hers every so often. 

Maggie broke off the kissing after a few minutes, and let her hands rest around Sydney's waist. "Have you ever?" 

"Yes, twice. College. Same girl." Sydney spoke quickly, out of breath, and desperate to dive back in, flicking her gaze back and forth between Maggie's dark eyes and her mouth. 

Maggie arched an eyebrow. _I just won my money back from Zach._

"Then let's get you out of these wet clothes," Maggie said, a smile on her face, biting her lower lip. 

Maggie pulled Sydney's skirt down in a quick movement. It fell to the floor, letting Maggie see all of her petite, curvy figure, and her soft porcelain skin. It wiped the smile from her face. She had to resist an intense urge to scoop Sydney into her arms and bite every available stretch of skin. 

"You're beautiful," Maggie said, not giving her a chance to respond before she swept her into her arms, mouths pressed frantically against one another's. Maggie pulled Sydney, still standing, toward her as she sat on the bed and kissed up her stomach, hands everywhere. She pulled her own shirt off and undid her bra clasp, letting it fall, before returning to kissing up Sydney's stomach. Every sensitive spot Maggie hit made Sydney twitch and sigh. 

"Maggie," Sydney urged, and she got the message loud and clear. _More._

Maggie's hand quickly found and undid the clasp on Sydney's bra, and Sydney pulled it the rest of the way off. Maggie's mouth latched onto Sydney's bare breast, sucking and licking at the small, stiff nipple that had occupied so much of her classroom daydreaming. _A literal dream come true,_ Maggie thought, as she switched over to the next one. Sydney had her hands wrapped around Maggie's head pulling her in closer to her chest. Maggie couldn't resist, and bit down on the one in her mouth causing Sydney to gasp and pull back. Maggie looked up apologetically, licking it better, and switching gears. 

She pulled Sydney down so she was straddling her, and Sydney immediately began a small, rhythmic thrusting against her that struck every nerve in Maggie's body with lightening. Being humped by Sydney Katz was the best thing that has ever happened to her. Maggie laid back, and they both started taking off the last remnants of their clothes. Maggie pulled Sydney all the way on top of her, pushing a leg in between Sydney's. Sydney instinctively started riding it, Maggie's hand pressed to her ass, increasing the pressure. 

"Maggie I-" Sydney said, uncertain, her pleasure building too quickly in this position. 

"It's okay." She stroked Sydney's disheveled hair bringing their mouths together. "Don't stop." 

Sydney picked up the pace against her thigh. Maggie watched, mesmerized by the pleasure on her face - every eyebrow furrow, every sound, every _fuck, oh my god, yes,_ the feel of her slick sliding. Sydney tugged on her hand, and she pushed it in between her thigh and Sydney, feeling her for the first time. Maggie found her clit, and Sydney started alternating between _Maggie_ and _Don't Stop._ Maggie's fingers pushed up, circling fast, and Sydney grinded down, her body going tense. Sydney reached for Maggie's other hand, and clasped it tight while she came, eyes shut, mouth open and silent, Maggie watching in awe. 

There was knocking on the door for a while, the distinct sounds of a frustrated Alex banished out of her own bedroom, but nothing in the universe could have made either one of them leave that bed anytime soon. 

///


	4. Chapter 4

///

"You know, your eyes are pretty, but I've never given your mouth the credit it deserves," Maggie traced Sydney’s lips with a finger tip. "Full. Well shaped. Hardworking."

Sydney laughed. "You've got a nice mouth too. Talks too much, but pretty," Her voice was deep and scratchy after the last couple hours of exertion, a few naps in between. 

She looked up at Maggie warily, hesitating to speak.

"Nope, don't even think about saying it."

"Maggie, I've got to go. I can't stay here."

"Why?" Maggie shrugged her shoulders and looked around.

"This isn't even your apartment. From the sounds of it Alex is really mad at you and maybe me too," Sydney looked uncomfortable. 

"She'll get over it."

Sydney started slowly moving out from under Maggie, searching for her clothes.

"Well, do you want to talk about this or-" Maggie was so open and good and completely naked that Sydney couldn't bear to let her down in that moment. 

"Yeah, of course," she said pulling her shirt back over her head. "I'll see you on Monday," Sydney went to the door, and Maggie felt the distinct chill of a blow off coming. 

///

"Maggie. What. The. Hell," Alex was really mad the next morning. Maggie had walked out into the living room to find her and Joel tangled uncomfortably on the couch, a half eaten pizza on the floor near them. She reached for a slice as she headed to make a pot of coffee. By the time she had her mug in hand at the table, Alex had woken up. 

"I'm so, so sorry. It was just. One thing lead to another, and it was out of my control," Maggie was gesturing, lost in memory of how it started.

"In my bed? There's a perfectly good guest bed one door down." 

"It was taken."

"By who?!"

"Honestly, I don't know. Nice butt, though. Tall," Maggie looked off, thoughtfully.

"Jonathon," Joel said from the kitchen. 

Maggie and Alex both looked over to Joel. 

"What? I met him in the bathroom. Nice guy. Dating Shahir."

"So, all the gays got laid in my apartment, meanwhile I was sharing the couch. I hope you all really enjoyed yourselves."

"I did," Maggie smirked, quirking an eyebrow. Alex rolled her eyes a bit and gave in. "So what base did you actually get to?"

"All bases. Several times." 

"Shut up," Joel said setting a coffee mug on the table in front of Alex and drinking another one for himself. "Pay up, Alex. And it's double because Christmas break doesn't start for a couple of weeks."

"So the real reason you're mad comes out," Maggie accused Alex in a sing-song voice. "Thanks for having faith in me, Joel. Good man."

///

Sydney was assisting Dr. Bell in the lab all week before the end of first semester. The only two days she was in class, Dr. Bell was keeping them so busy that she had managed to avoid talking about anything of substance with her. Maggie didn't press the issue, because she didn't want to scare her off. Not to mention all the work she had, there was just no time to go chasing after Sydney like she used to at the beginning of the year. They had plenty of time to figure it out. 

Maggie left her pathology class, grabbing an elevator to head out for the night, ready for the long break ahead of her. It stopped at the next floor down, and when the doors opened, Sydney appeared. 

"Maggie," Sydney said, surprised. Maggie smiled, pushing a piece of hair out of her face. It didn't reach her eyes. Maybe she was a little more upset than she thought she was. "I was actually just thinking of you," Sydney continued.

"Oh yeah?" Maggie found that hard to believe seeing as she had barely spoken to her since they slept together. 

Sydney pulled a blue envelope out of her purse and handed it to Maggie. "Hershel and I won this. In a raffle at his school." Maggie opened the envelope and Sydney said, "I mean there's kosher, and then there's..." she gestured to the envelope. 

"Daddy Crab Legs Crab Shack," Maggie read. 

"I thought maybe you could use it," Sydney said earnestly, turning to smile up at Maggie. 

"Is this my parting gift? Crack some crab legs and forget about what happened between us?" Maggie said incredulously. Sydney doesn't talk to her for a couple weeks after they sleep together, doesn't respond to any of her texts or invites, and now she wants her to have a gift card that she and Hershel won?

"No," Sydney shook her head totally misunderstood. "I just thought it would be a nice treat. You never treat yourself. "

Sydney was talking to Maggie like she didn't just treat herself to Sydney's very willing body. As if Maggie didn't make her so turned on that she literally humped her leg until she came. As if a hand-me-down gift card from her and her boyfriend is a normal gift under these circumstances. 

"Yeah, I'm sort of ... allergic to shellfish, but thank you," She said, handing the envelope back to Sydney. She wants to pretend like nothing happened, fine, but Maggie's not going to help her do it. She breezed out of the elevator leaving Sydney in her wake. 

"Sort of?" Sydney called after her, the elevator closing on her confused face. 

///

"Hey Mags, your girlfriend just gave me this gift certificate. Wanna celebrate end of term?" Zach trotted over to Maggie, who was grabbing a sparkling water at the kiosk, waving the blue envelope in her face. "One hundred big ones," he whispered like he won the lottery. 

"She's not my girlfriend, and I'm not accepting her hush money," Maggie said in a flat tone. 

Zach looked very confused. "Trouble in paradise?"

"She's not talking to me." 

"Ouch."

"Yeah, ouch," Maggie, smiling sarcastically, side-stepped him and kept walking for the door. 

"Well, I don't really see what that has to do with us getting our feast on," Zach stepped in front of her, blocking her exit. "Seriously, Mags. Let's cheer you up." 

Maggie considered his open face, her stomach growling softly. She _was_ hungry.

"Okay, you know what, fine. Let's go and crack some crab legs and forget about women, and medicine, and drink ourselves silly."

"Yes, Lin! I'll text Alex and Joel."

Maggie broke out into a big smile she didn't know she had in her, grateful for her friends, happy to ignore the static buzz of Sydney Katz that was always in the back of her mind. 

///

Four weeks later Maggie was back on Harvard campus, having just moved in with Alex. The guest bedroom was small, but she spent more time there than her own apartment, studying, passing out, and doing it all over again. Plus, Alex needed the financial help. Everyone kept bringing up the USMLE Step 1 as if it was the apocalypse coming to destroy their lives. They agreed to spend the last week of winter break getting a head start on it. 

Maggie enjoyed walking through the relatively empty campus a few days before the new semester started. She made her way to the campus store closest to the med building to buy some coffee for the apartment. She saw a tiny redhead in the back, going for a bottled water. Maggie's heart leapt in her chest. Sydney turned around, making eye contact, her eyes widening slightly, the rest of her face unmoving. 

"Sydney. You don't call, you don't write." Maggie did her best to imitate a Jewish grandmother as Sydney walked hesitantly closer to her. Maggie wanted to be mad at her but it was impossible. It had been weeks, and she was happy to just lay eyes on her again, in person. 

Sydney's face broke out into a tiny, relieved grin. "You need to work on your accent."

"You could teach me." Maggie was flirting already, automatically, couldn't help herself. She also couldn't help the image of Sydney, naked, riding her, panting, from appearing in her mind. 

Sydney winced, trying to work herself up to say something. Maggie tried to make it easier for her.

"I moved in with Alex." She smiled encouragingly.

Sydney looked at her, her eyes clouded with adoration despite her restrained demeanor. "You guys practically lived together anyway."

"Yeah, but now we're officially roomies." Maggie delivered the news with genuine joy and Sydney couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Maggie, I'm so sorry." Maggie knew instantly what she meant.

"Don't worry about it." Maggie did her best to sound jovial and cavalier, but her eyes betrayed some of the hurt. She sucked air in really fast, clasping her hands in front of her.

"I was wondering-" Sydney finally found her courage, tilted her head to the side, looking up at Maggie. "I was wondering if we could go back to being friends again. Or if it's too late." 

Maggie felt her heart melting. Friends with Sydney was still good. She could be friends with Sydney any day of the week. An image of her kissing her way up Sydney's bare stomach appeared, and Maggie squeezed her eyes shut quickly, willing it to go away. 

"Yes." She said. "Of course. We never stopped being friends." She gave Sydney a little friendly pat on her arm to show her good faith. "Can I walk you back to your place? I'm sort of avoiding the apartment right now. Joel's-" 

"I don't know if that's a good idea." Sydney said quickly, thinking that she may not have the strength to resist dragging Maggie inside. 

"Right. Well, how about a cup of coffee and a lazy walk around campus?" 

" _That_ sounds perfect."

///

A few weeks later, the groups favorite subject came up. 

"Lin, I saw you with Sydney in the quad, what's that?" Zach said, a cheesy grin on his face. Joel and Alex stopped typing. 

"Nothing." Maggie had tried to hide her renewed friendship with Syd from the group. It felt less complicated and push-over-y this way. 

"You guys were laughing. Her hand on your arm. Her eye lashes batting up a-"

"Okay, okay, I get the picture," Maggie said, irritated, pushing her hair back behind her shoulders. 

Alex turned towards Maggie, alarmed. "I thought we agreed that she wasn't the right person for you. We spent, like, weeks talking about it. She has a boyfriend, Maggie. And a religion." 

"I know that. Don't you think I know that? I know that." Maggie was flustered repeating herself. "We've just been hanging out in public areas, being friends, avoiding dark corners and empty rooms like the plague. Don't worry."

"She had sex with you in my bed and then ignored you for at least two months-"

"It was only six weeks actually."

"When did you start hanging out with her again?!" Alex was doing math in her head.

"I ran into her right before the semester started." Maggie blew out a breath of air. "Look, I was going to tell you, but I was avoiding this. This. What's happening right now. Those eyes." Alex looked affronted at Maggie's words. 

"Unbelievable," Alex said, returning to her typing, furiously. "She's not welcome in our place, so don't even think about it."

Maggie turned to Zach, "Thanks a lot, Yenta." She packed up her stuff and stormed away.

"Was that Yiddish?" Joel asked scratching his head and watching her go.

///

It was dark, and Maggie had been making it a point not to spend time with Sydney when it was dark, but she needed to vent. 

Sydney showed up around the corner, concern in her eyes, rushing over to Maggie. "What's wrong? I got your text." Her eyes scanned Maggie's body for insult and injury. 

Seeing Sydney made Maggie instantly feel better, but she also felt kind of foolish for sending her an SOS text over a fight with Alex. Especially when the subject of the fight was looking at her like that. 

Maggie's head dropped, and Sydney tilted it back up by her chin. "Maggie, I'm serious. What happened?" _Too close._

Maggie dived in, kissing Sydney hard, her tongue trying to find it's way into her surprised mouth. Sydney was pushing against her shoulders, but quickly relented, melting into the intense kiss for a moment. Then she pulled away stepping all the way back, leaving a few feet in between them.

"I can't - Hershel-"

Just then Hershel came around the corner, keys jangling in hand. "Okay, love, the car is parked, but it might be in a tow zone so-"

Maggie was shaking her head, looking accusingly at Sydney. She stopped hearing what Hershel said after the word 'love.' _'Okay, Love,' love, love._ Blood was rushing to her ears, her face growing hot. 

Maggie walked backwards, stumbling, Sydney walking towards her, reaching a hand out, in step. 

"Don't." Maggie reached her hands out in front of her. 

"Everything ... okay?" Hershel looked at the two women confused. 

"Everything's fine. I've got to go, I just remembered, I have something-" And then Maggie took off fast in the opposite direction. 

She heard Sydney call her name from somewhere behind her but she didn't stop. 

/// 

Sydney walked into class the next day, eyes searching for Maggie. She found Alex's eyes first. They were not kind. 

"Alex, I know I'm probably the last person-" 

Alex cut her off, "What are you playing at, Sydney?" Sydney's eyes darted around, paranoid someone might overhear. 

"I'm not playing at anything," she said in hushed tones. "I'm just concerned about Maggie. Last night she texted me-" 

"She's fine." Alex said it firmly, pausing for a beat before she continued. "If you cared about her you'd just leave her alone." 

"Maggie and I are friends. Whether you like it or not," Sydney said, her attitude growing. 

"No, you're not friends. And you know it." Joel put a hand on Alex's leg under the table to calm her raising voice. 

Dr. Kinney walked in calling the class to attention, Maggie jetting in right behind her, hair up, no make up, in yoga pants and a big sweatshirt. 

They went to check on their skin cultures after the lecture, and between Alex not leaving her side, and Maggie's dogged determination to not make eye contact with Sydney, she never found an opportunity to find out why Maggie was so upset. 

/// 

Two agonizing weeks passed by. Occasionally Maggie would make eye contact with Sydney, her gaze alternating between hurt and longing. Sydney seemed to be taking Alex's advice until her and Maggie inevitably ran into each other at a school function. Sydney was there as Dr. Bell's research assistant, presenting a talk on her work. Maggie's first thought was that she looked really pretty in her formal attire. Then she spent the rest of the talk admiring her mind. 

She had a glass of wine in her hand, her second, and against her better judgment, she walked up behind Sydney. 

"You give a good talk." Maggie said it with humor in her voice, and Sydney whipped around. 

"Thank you." She paused for a moment, giving Maggie a once over. "You look good, Maggie." 

Maggie was in all black, heels, hair and makeup done up. She did look good. 

"Do you want to get out of here?" Maggie said the words without even thinking. She checked to make sure Alex and Joel were distracted. 

Sydney hesitated for a beat, and then said, "Yeah. Actually, I do." A big smile on her face matching Maggie's. 

/// 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is encouraging. Also, feel free to let me know if I've made any errors.

"Why have you been avoiding me?" Maggie asked it innocently. "I thought we were trying to be friends." She glanced over at Sydney keeping pace next to her. 

Sydney paused before saying, "I had a conversation with Alex, and I thought- I thought she might be right."

"You what?" Maggie sounded upset, so Sydney rushed to clarify.

"I mean it was quick, right before class, the day after - you know. The day after you kissed me." 

Maggie sucked in a breath, the memory bubbling up like bile. 

"And what exactly did you think Alex was right about?"

"That if I cared about you, I would leave you alone."

"That's really none of her business," Maggie said sharply, already working on the conversation she would be having with Alex later.

"She's your best friend, and she's not wrong. I haven't been - I haven't been fair to you, Maggie." Sydney sounded so sincere, her voice growing quieter with every word. 

"Well, I'm the one who decides who my friends are, and who my friends aren't, and I've decided that we're friends. So do me a favor next time Alex sticks her nose in, and tell me, please."

They ended up trying to break back into the med school building so Maggie could pee. The atrium was open for the event, and Maggie took the elevator up to the fifth floor to avoid party-goers. _Like Alex._ She ran in, checking her make up and catching her breath. 

_You've got this, Lin. It's just Sydney._ She willed her heart to slow back down before she walked out into the hall. 

They stared at each other for a moment before Sydney said, "I miss you, Maggie." 

Maggie knew exactly what she was missing. They walked into each other's space, drawn like magnets, Sydney sighing into the kiss. This felt right, felt like all the tension in Maggie's shoulders melted away the moment Sydney was in her arms. Like every second together was a fight to stay apart, and she didn't have to fight anymore. 

Maggie went straight for it, her hands sliding in through the back of Sydney's skirt, one staying pressed against the small of her back, and the other making its way to the front. She found it, hot and wet, fingers pressed through her underwear, rubbing fast and light. 

Sydney broke the kiss after a few moments, gasping, "I'm going to- if you don't stop-"

"I want you to. I can't wait another second. It's all I think about." Sydney was so easy. Maggie didn't know if it was because she was so sexually repressed or if she did this to her, but in this moment, it didn't matter. Maggie dipped under Sydney's underwear and applied pressure to Sydney's clit, hot and slippery, circling even faster. Sydney pressed her face almost painfully into Maggie's, her mouth open, Maggie roughly pushing her back against the wall as she worked even harder. Maggie was still trying to kiss her, but it was more mouth and teeth than lips, as she concentrated her energy on making Sydney come as fast as possible. Her arm was aching, trapped between Sydney and her skirt, but Sydney was so close. Her eyebrows were furrowed and her breaths were short, and Maggie knew she was trying to fight it. 

Maggie broke her mouth away, staring intently at Sydney's face, her long fingers still working fast, her circles slipping into a firm, fast, side to side motion, "I just want to make you feel good. Doesn't this feel good?" Sydney's mouth froze, hips bucking forward, coming at Maggie's words, her body jerking the answer _yes, yes, yes._ Maggie had an arm wrapped around her, keeping her steady, as she quickly removed her hand from Sydney's long skirt, shaking it out. Sydney's forehead was against Maggie's collarbone, digging in, her thighs squeezed tight, trying to still her body. After a moment, Sydney leaned back against the wall, eyes softly closed, her chest rising and falling rapidly. 

"Come to my apartment," Sydney said, eyes finally opening to meet Maggie's stare. Her face looked almost like she was in pain. She already wanted more. 

///

Sydney licked Maggie like she was an ice cream cone on the first day of summer, like she was dying of thirst and Maggie was the only water for miles, like it was her major in undergrad, like she was born to do this, loved to do this, smiling and sighing and humming. She had licked Maggie for thirty minutes straight, in heaven, while Maggie laid back and enjoyed the massage. When she wanted Maggie to come she put two fingers inside, pumping, tongue moving against her clit, reaching up to massage a nipple. Maggie was rubbing her own breasts, so Sydney just covered one of Maggie's hands with hers, licking and pumping her way into Maggie's third orgasm. Maggie's whole body twitched when Sydney swiped a tongue against her sensitive clit right after she came.

"Sydney, I can't. I'm too sensitive."

"One more."

"Come here." Maggie tugged her up, and Sydney kissed her with her wet mouth, her tongue on overdrive inside Maggie's mouth still. Maggie flipped them, so Sydney was on her back, breaking the kiss. 

"I can't keep up. I need a nap," Maggie said, both of her hands holding Sydney's face still.

It occurred to Maggie suddenly that maybe Sydney was insatiable because she planned on this being their only night together again. Another mistake. She went very still in response to the thought, the sudden sharp pain in her chest taking her breath away. 

"What is it? What are you thinking about?" Sydney observantly noticed the change in Maggie's demeanor.

"It's nothing." Maggie smiled without it reaching her eyes, but Sydney didn't let it go.

"No. Your face changed. So what is it?"

Maggie moved off Sydney and on to her back, and Sydney let her have the space, but turned onto her side facing her, waiting for her to answer the question.

"I don't want to pressure you," Maggie finally admitted. 

"I'm already under a lot of pressure, Maggie, so-"

"Exactly, which is why-"

"Which is why you not telling me will only make me worry and make it worse," Sydney chided, sounding more like a Jewish mother than a lover at the moment. 

Maggie thought for a moment before quickly shifting from her back to her side to face Sydney. "Is this it for us? Is this all you want for us?" She said it fast, her eyes searching Sydney’s. 

"Maggie-"

"I just need to know. I thought maybe you've been nonstop tonight because you know something I don't."

"I'm still with Hershel, Maggie, if that's what you're asking," Sydney said it softly, like the words hurt her to say. 

Maggie squinted her eyes, a claim to Sydney staked in them. _Mine._

"Leave him." To Maggie, he was a gnat, easily ignored or smacked away. 

"I can't. He's meeting my parents this weekend. I'm meeting his. They already bought their flights." There was more resolve in her voice this time. 

"Think about the possibilities. You could eat me out every night." Maggie sensed herself running up against a wall, so she made the joke in a sing-song voice. The smile made it to her eyes this time, as she reached out to grasp Sydney's bare waist, pushing it around a bit. She had to resist the urge to press her thumb in hard enough to bruise. 

"Well, it is quite the stress reliever," Sydney beamed back, thankful for Maggie's brief moment of levity, entangling their legs, and bringing their bodies closer together. She felt her stiff nipples grazing Maggie's soft breasts, and it gave her goose bumps.

"You cold?" Maggie's said, rubbing her bare arm to warm her up.

"No," Sydney responded, her smile dropping, and her knee pressing up between Maggie's legs. She pulled Maggie's hand down low, between her legs, guiding it where she wanted it.

"Inside," Sydney breathed, and Maggie felt a new wave of slickness between her own legs at the command. She didn't need to be told twice. 

///

This time Sydney stayed and made her breakfast before class. "I know you have a habit of getting to class late, and that's not happening today," Sydney said as she prodded a sleepy Maggie awake. Maggie caught Sydney's hand and tried to pull her back into bed.

"No. Get up." She pulled her comforter off of Maggie before walking out of the room. "Breakfast is on the table."

"So rough in the mornings." Maggie grumbled, uncurling from a ball, and searching for her clothes. Dress. Heels. _This won't work._ Maggie wandered into Sydney's closet and tried to pick out some normal clothes for the day. Hard to do given the Orthodox thing, but she found a pair of sweats and a tee shirt. 

She found her phone, as well as million missed calls and texts from Alex. She sent her a quick, "I'm fine, I'll see you in class, bring my backpack, don't be mad" text before heading toward the kitchen. 

"I could get used to a hot breakfast every morning," Maggie said, finally making her way into the kitchen. "Going to have to work on the lack of coffee thing, though." 

"I keep a kosher home and eat three meals a day."

Maggie raised her eyebrows. _So serious._ "I'm sure you do." 

"So, where's Hershel been lately? Why wasn't here there last night?"

"We're in a fight."

"Oh." Maggie said, intrigued. "And what could you two possibly be fighting about?"

"He broke Kosher law."

"What?" 

"He broke his sacred covenant with God." 

"Come again?"

"He ate bacon, Maggie!" Sydney was practically yelling at this point. 

"Um, not that I care at all about the survival of your sham relationship, but don't you think you're being a little hard on him, considering?" Maggie was looking at Sydney, hoping she was catching her drift. 

Sydney looked at her like she was the crazy one, some hysteria in her eyes.

"Okay, look, I'm just saying, maybe you're looking for a way out."

"I never said I wanted an out," Sydney said, suddenly insecure. 

Maggie rolled her eyes. This morning was going totally different than she thought it would. 

"You don't have to. I know it's eating you up inside. I'm not having fantastic sex with myself every couple of months."

"Get your stuff, we're leaving in five minutes," Sydney said dismissively, avoiding Maggie’s eyes, changing the subject.

Maggie followed her orders, running to the bathroom to splash water on her face and rub toothpaste on her teeth with a finger. 

"Hey, come here," Maggie caught her by the wrist on their way out of the door. "Don't go into panic mode on me. Yes, we slept together again, but we're still friends. This only has to mean what we say it does." 

Sydney softened at her words, a smile playing at her lips. "You have two minutes of kissing before we leave. Two minutes. I mean it, Maggie." She squealed a bit when Maggie instantly wrapped her arms around her waist bringing her in. 

"Three," Maggie said before her lips found the softest part of Sydney's neck. 

///

They both came rushing into class at the last minute, Sydney's face clearly annoyed, Maggie fidgeting with her hair nervously. Maggie saw her backpack sitting on a table as far away from Alex as possible, and then saw Alex refusing to meet her eyes. That was a small problem that will have to be dealt with. Before Dr. Bell started her lecture, she called out to Sydney, "Ms. Katz, see me after class." Maggie didn't think twice about it, but Sydney's face went stiff. They took their seats at the table in the back with Maggie's backpack on it. 

They spent class acting totally normal as far as they both were concerned, but the carefulness was obvious to those who knew them. After class Sydney turned to Maggie and said, "I've got to talk to Dr. Bell, so don't wait for me." All business, leaving a clueless Maggie in her wake. 

Zach came sliding up to her after Sydney headed for the front. "So." 

"Come on, lets grab lunch, and I'll fill you in." Maggie said, smiling a little, trying to ignore the dread of facing Alex. 

Alex lingered behind them in the hall, kissing Joel goodbye briefly. Joel jogged up to Zach and Maggie.

"Where's Alex?" Maggie said curiously. 

"Needs to talk to Dr. Bell. Said she'd meet us there." 

///

That night, Joel was telling a story about a patient at the clinic, Maggie and Zach laughing with tears in their eyes. 

"I'm just saying, when they say they don't know what's in there - it's always a dildo."

Maggie got distracted by the sight of Sydney walking up to Hershel, who she hadn't noticed was in the quad before. It looked very serious right away, and after a few minutes, she could see Sydney crying. Then she took off suddenly, Hershel standing up, grabbing his head, looking around like the world was ending, but no one else could see it but him. 

She slowly collected her bags, Zach and Joel looking at her questioningly, "Everything okay, Mags?" 

"Yeah, totally fine. I've just. Got to go. I have something-" and then she started walking in Sydney's direction.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback and edits are appreciated! I'm about to get really busy again, so it may take me a minute to update. I have the next chapter about halfway written.

"Remind me to never eat bacon ever again," Maggie said, lightly teasing, as Sydney let her in. 

Sydney's eyes were red, and she clearly wasn't in a humorous mood, so Maggie went with serious. "What are you going to tell your parents this weekend?"

"The truth."

"Which is?" Maggie looked nervously over at Sydney, sitting down next to her on the couch. 

"That I'm gay." 

"Wow. Is that what you told Hershel?"

"Yes," Sydney said, fresh tears falling. "I can't be apart of our community and still be who I am. I'm terrified, but honestly, I'm more afraid of the life I would have if I stayed."

Maggie just nodded in response, listening. 

"Maggie, what am I doing?"

"You're following your heart."

"I feel like I'm free falling."

Maggie let out a breath, "I know the feeling."

"What do I do now?"

"I don't know. Keep falling, I guess," she left off _with me_ , but she hoped Sydney felt it. 

"Am I going to be okay?"

"You're going to be just fine," Maggie said, not knowing for sure, but taking her hand. 

"Your nose just twitched."

Maggie's heart was thumping in her chest, everything in her melting for Sydney all at once.

"How about I go get us some food and a movie, take your mind off of all this?"

Maggie hopped up, but Sydney held on to her hand, pulling her back, "Stay."

Maggie looked at their connected hands, and then back up at Sydney. _Yes. Always yes._

///

"Maggie - Sydney. What a pleasant surprise to see you two here." Zach appraised the scene before him, delighted. They were both in pajamas, stocking up on snacks at the store nearest the med building around midnight. He was just on his way out with a Coke. 

"Zach!" Maggie turned around like a deer in headlights. Sydney turned around much more comfortably, fixing Zach with a cool gaze.

"We were just, uhm," Maggie was struggling to explain what she was doing out with Sydney at this hour on a school night when Sydney spoke up.

"Hershel and I broke up. I didn't know if you'd heard. I'm gay." She said it very matter of factly. Maggie looked over to her, shocked that she was so comfortable saying that so soon. 

Zach shook his head, eyes wide, at a loss for words for a moment, "Well, I am sorry to hear that - about Hershel. But I'm happy for you two." He said gesturing between Maggie and Sydney.

"Ah, no, we're not-"  
"We're not quite-" Both Maggie and Sydney started, trying to clarify, but Zach had already moved on. He was gazing down at Sydney's legs. 

"I can see your knees," Zach made the observation, confused.

Maggie took Sydney's hand dragging her away, "Bye, Zach."

///

The next few weeks flew by, the USMLE step one looming large over every spare minute of Maggie's life. She found occasional moments to make out with Sydney Katz, but their epic and torrid love affair she spent so long dreaming about was on complete hold until they tackled this beast of a test. 

Zach, constantly focused on everyone's love life but his own, closed his textbook one day and stared over at Maggie. "So, what's the deal, are you and Katz official? You've been here at Alex's every night. I figured-"

"No, we're just friends still. We're taking it slow. Plus she studies alone, and since we are pretty much always studying." Maggie gestured defensively. "Also, I live at Alex's place. So stop always calling it Alex's place."

"But you just-"

Maggie shot him a look, and he shut up very quickly, returning to his studies. 

Maggie pulled out her phone to text Sydney, suddenly insecure about the status of their relationship. 

**Maggie:** send me a pic of your boobs  
**Sydney:** Not even a 'Hello, how was your evening?' Just straight for the boobs?  
**Maggie:** i miss them  
**Sydney:** No. They'll be plastered all over the internet before I know it. And I hate the internet.  
**Maggie:** i would never do that to you  
**Sydney:** Can you be so sure that the idiots you call friends wouldn't?  
**Maggie:** fair point  
**Maggie:** when can i see them in person then?  
**Sydney:** May 15th

 _The day after the USMLE,_ Maggie thought, chuckling. 

**Maggie:** i'm starting to think youre giving me the cold shoulder again  
**Sydney:** You text me every five minutes, how could you possibly think that?  
**Maggie:** give me one hour  
**Sydney:** ...  
**Sydney:** Meet me in the skills lab tomorrow at eight.  
**Maggie:** kinky  
**Sydney:** No, to practice for the USMLE, Maggie.  
**Maggie:** ...  
**Sydney:** If you're good, I'll reserve twenty minutes at the end for making out.  
**Maggie:** thirty  
**Sydney:** Twenty-five.  
**Maggie:** deal 

///

Maggie and Sydney worked playfully together in the skills lab. Sydney wanted to give Maggie some notes she took on pathology, knowing it was Maggie's weakest subject. She scrounged around in Maggie's bag, pulling out a thumb drive that was among the litter lining the bottom. 

"Katz, Ratz, Fatz," Maggie was rhyming her name with different words, being generally silly, as she worked on intubating a mannequin, delighted that Syd, who was totally single by the way, was finally helping her study again. 

"Did you just call me F-" But Sydney stopped in her tracks, the smile falling from her face when she saw the contents of the thumb drive. Ice water worked its way through her veins and into her heart. 

Maggie looked over at the sudden silence and saw the look on Sydney's face, and then glanced down at the USB port on her laptop. 

_Oh no._

///

"This is not what it looks like, Sydney. I know how this looks, and you have to believe me," Maggie had her hands up in front of her, and her eyes were pleading. 

"Was it all a lie? For a stupid grade?" Sydney looked accusingly at Maggie, eyes full of hurt, voice breaking. "Befriend lonely, closeted Sy-" 

"No! Let me explain," Maggie watched in a panic as Syd was packing her things up at lightening speed, pulling her backpack on.

Sydney cut her off, her hand out as if to stop Maggie's words physically, "No, no you've done enough." Sydney talked with her hands as much as her words, "I'm reporting you to the Dean in the morning. We're done, Maggie." 

" _Syd, please,_ " Maggie couldn't breathe. She felt this slipping out of her control, and she didn't know how to bring Sydney back to her. Everything she said was making it worse. And now Sydney was storming out of the door.

Maggie stayed in the classroom alone for a moment, debating what she should do, before quickly deciding to chase Sydney out into the hallway. 

Sydney paused, hearing Maggie's footsteps coming up behind her, and turned slightly, just enough so Maggie could see the side of her face.

"I let you-I-" She couldn't say it, but Maggie knew, flashing back to their nights together. Then Sydney looked forward again and kept walking. 

"I love you," Maggie said to Sydney's back, sad and simple, still within Sydney's earshot, her eyes filling with frustrated tears. 

Sydney didn't stop. 

///

"You've got to go stop her. I'll come with you. Maggie, you can't let her do this! They will kick you out of school this time!" Alex was beside herself when Maggie finished telling her what happened. Maggie didn't move. She had been crying on the couch, pillows and tissues surrounding her, but by the time Alex arrived she was in a dry stupor. 

"Maggie! Seriously, get up!" Alex sat down right next to Maggie, hands on her shoulders, forcing eye contact. "I know your feelings are hurt, but if she reports you to the Dean again your career is over. She's not worth it."

"You don't know everything," Maggie said warningly, emotionally exhausted.

"Neither do you!" Alex shot back. 

"What does that mean?"

"Has she told you she's leaving Harvard?"

"What?" Maggie's face scrunched up in confusion. 

"She's going to Oxford. She's leaving right after the USMLE," Alex started off strong, but ended softly. She didn't want to hurt Maggie, but she needed to hear it.

"Oh," Maggie felt her heart drop in her chest. Breathing got harder. "How do you know?"

"I overheard her and Dr. Bell after class a while back. She said she wanted to tell you herself, and I agreed she was the right person to-"

Maggie clutched at her own chest. "It doesn't matter anymore," Maggie said in a breathy voice, tears filling her eyes again. "She's done with me, Alex. She was very clear. She thinks I - that I slept with her, just to get to her work. Nothing I say -" she broke off. 

"It does matter, Maggie. You matter. Your career matters." Alex was so good. So genuine. 

"I did it," Maggie said, nodding. Alex looked confused, but she went silent, giving Maggie room to talk.

"Last year, I went onto Sydney Katz's computer, and I stole all her outlines, all her materials and notes, everything, for all of our classes. We were the last two of the study group still at the library, and I-" Fresh, hot tears started to fall down her face. "I knew she was better than me. Smarter. I was so tired of struggling. So when she got up to use the restroom." Maggie paused, wiping her wet face and nose with the back of her hand, sucking in a breath. "I put it all on a USB drive." 

She turned her head to the side and looked directly at Alex. "You still think my career matters now?"

///


	7. Chapter 7

"Maggie, are you saying...are you saying that you stole her work again this year?"

"No! She just. She saw what was on the USB drive. We were in the lab, and I forgot. I just forgot. I thought I had wiped it. I didn't even use her work last year. I felt so guilty I-" 

Alex's blue eyes looked intently into Maggie's trying to calm her, "We are definitely going to revisit what happened last year, between us, but that's in the past. You had an academic hearing, and you won."

"Yeah, because I lied. It was her word against mine."

"But this time it'll be the truth. You won't have to lie."

"Come on, Alex, you don't really believe that do you? This will be the second time she's reported me. Last year will come up. Especially because what she saw _was_ from last year, and I can't explain that to her - to them, without- without-" Maggie stopped talking, at a loss for what to say. 

"I'm going to go for a walk and think about how we're going to fix this," Alex said, hopping up suddenly.

"Alex, do not talk to Sydney. Promise me."

"I promise. Just a walk." Alex seemed completely earnest and truthful, so Maggie watched her go without more protest.

///

Alex banged at Sydney's door for at least five minutes, calling her name, until Sydney opened it, irritated. "What are you doing here, Alex? I have nothing to say to you." 

Alex stuck her foot in the door so Sydney couldn't close it. "Well, I have some things to say to you." Sydney stared back into her face, unmoving for a moment, but she didn't have enough fight left in her tonight. She opened the door wider, and gestured for Alex to come in. 

"You didn't tell Maggie that you're leaving for Oxford." Alex hadn't even turned around yet.

"That's what you're here to talk about?" Sydney said in disbelief, crossing her arms defensively. 

"In part." Alex's eyes were steely as she turned around to meet Sydney's. "She knows. And she's heartbroken. You should have told her." 

"She- she doesn't get to. She doesn't get to use that against me right now," Sydney said quietly and resolutely, gesturing with a finger. 

"Maggie didn't cheat off of you, Sydney. You can't go to the Dean with this," Alex set her purse down on the table still looking at Sydney. 

Sydney laughed derisively, "I saw her do it, Alex." 

"You didn't see what you think you saw. That wasn't new. That was your stuff from last year. If you would have just let her explain-"

"She lied to me from the moment I saw it. I know my work," Sydney said sitting down at the table.

"Okay, have it your way, even if she did, why? Why report her after everything you two have been through?" 

Sydney started laughing which alarmed Alex quite a bit. "Are you ... okay?" She took the chair next to Sydney's at the kitchen table, unsure about her current mental stability.

Once Sydney collected herself, she began speaking quietly, playing with her hands nervously. "The truth is that if Maggie would have just asked me last year - I would have given her anything. Everything. Just to get her attention," Sydney was almost whispering. 

Alex's eyes softened, listening carefully. "I had the biggest crush on Maggie from the moment I saw her at orientation." Sydney broke off into a big smile, her eyes watering. "She's so beautiful." She paused again, and took a breath, trying to control her emotions enough to speak. "I only joined that study group because Maggie was in it." She met Alex's eyes again, saw how kind and understanding they were, and continued. "I saw her at my computer taking my work that night in the library, and I didn't say anything. But then after that night, she stopped coming to the study group. She didn't even look at me after that. That's-that's when I went to the Dean - not just because what she did was cheating, but because-" She covered her mouth, unable to finish. Alex understood. _Maggie used her._

Alex reached out and took one of Sydney's hands that was resting on the table, "Look Sydney, we have our...differences." Alex began in an understatement, causing Sydney to chuckle sarcastically. "But you have another choice besides Oxford. No matter what you think, Maggie was really ... happy - when she was around you this year. Everyone could see that."

"I made a promise to myself that I won't break, Alex. Not even for Maggie."

Alex opened her mouth to speak, but Sydney cut her off, "I'm not going to report Maggie to the Dean. The thought of doing that to her now - I can't. I can give her the benefit of the doubt this year. I can give her that much." Alex nodded her head, relieved. 

"But I am leaving. Tell Maggie ... tell her I'm sorry I didn't tell her." Sydney sat silently, looking away from Alex, in a stupor. Alex realized it was time for her to leave. 

"Thank you, Sydney. For not reporting this. It's the right call. For Maggie," She said before she closed the door behind her. 

///

Maggie was so busy studying for the boards that she couldn't often dwell on the fact that Sydney wasn't speaking to her. The thought of her leaving, of never seeing her flash of red hair in the halls again, sunk through her like a stone, big and slow and painful, every time. It was her last thought at night, and her first in the morning. But every other moment was packed with studying - fourteen hour days, brewing coffee, eating, sleeping, showering, walking to and from the library, and doing it all over again. She called so many times, she texted so many times, but it was like Sydney was already gone.

Every time she walked to the shop she hoped she'd see her, but it never happened. In the skills lab, the library, the med building, she was nowhere. Maggie occasionally took the long way to the library and walked by her apartment, but didn't have the heart to go up and knock. What would she say anyway? _Forgive me for being a cheater. At least it wasn't this year. Don't go to Oxford._ They all seemed like awful things to ask of her. 

"Hey, did you know Sydney Katz is only twenty-one?" Zach sat down with the group in a study room in the library. "I was just talking to-" Alex glared over at Zach, while Maggie turned a page, pretending not to hear him.

"Yes, everyone knows, change the subject." Alex said in a sharp tone.

Zach removed his foot from his mouth, wincing, as he unpacked his bags. 

"You alright, Mags?" Joel asked Maggie after giving Zach a look like he was stupid.

"Yes, I'm fine. You can all talk about whatever you want, I really don't care. But right now I'm trying to study." Maggie said it very quickly, lying through her teeth, gesturing with her hands. She did care. And of course she knew how young Sydney was. It was one of her favorite things about her. Her little prodigy. Well, not hers, she never quite made it there, did she? And she's definitely not there now. But Hershel did. He got that part of her for awhile. She shook her head, frustrated. 

"Where are you going?"  
"Maggie, wait, before you-" Alex and Zach said at once, their words tangling, but Maggie cut Zach off. 

"Somewhere else." Maggie left the room in search of some peace of mind. The first part of the boards was only three days away, and then sometime shortly after that - she couldn't think about it, couldn't let herself -

"Oh, I am so sorry!" She slammed into someone hard as she turned the corner, coffee spilling everywhere. 

"Maggie!" Sydney said, surprised before she could stop herself. 

Maggie's heart leapt out of her chest. "Here, let me-" Maggie started patting down Sydney where her coffee spilled with a few napkins she had in her bag.

"Maggie, really. Maggie stop-" Sydney stepped back out of Maggie's reach as Maggie started patting her chest. "I can just go home and change. It's not a big deal."

"It's a huge deal. Now you have to take time away from studying to go home. I'm so sorry." Great. Exactly how Maggie wanted to run into Sydney again. By actually running into her and ruining her - her shirt. Her shirt was white, and Maggie just realized that the coffee made it very, very see-through.

"Sydney, your top is-" Maggie began, pointing. Sydney looked down and covered it with a hand. 

"Here, wear my shirt." Without thinking Maggie took off her sweater, leaving just a tank top on underneath, stretching it out to Sydney. 

"Thanks, I'm still getting the hang of wearing different clothes, and I'm realizing now that even opaque white is dangerous without an undershirt-" 

"Or a bra." Maggie blurted it out and then closed her eyes in embarrassment immediately after.

Sydney looked away from Maggie. "I'll uh, just wash this and give it back. Thanks for-

"Sydney, I've been trying to talk to you." Maggie cut to the chase quickly, staring desperately into Sydney's eyes.

"I really don't have time for this." Sydney replied coldly, pulling Maggie's sweater on. She struggled slightly with the sleeves as she pulled it over her head. Maggie instantly went to help her tug it on. 

"I've got it!" Sydney said, slightly out of breath, pulling away from Maggie again. "Look, Step One is in three days. I can't do this with you right now. And you shouldn't be trying to do this with me either." Sydney said it sternly, motherly. 

"I miss you." Maggie echoed the words Sydney said to her not that long ago on the fifth floor of the med building, the words that made Maggie cave instantly. Sydney was standing in her sweater, just slightly too big for her, looking like everything Maggie has ever wanted. 

"I can't-" Sydney said, eyes filling with unexpected tears. Then she took off towards the stairs, leaving Maggie aching everywhere with pain.

"Maggie!" Zach burst out of the study room. "I just wanted to tell you I ran into Sydney studying on this floor, and I-"

"Thanks for the heads up." Maggie said deadpan, turning around and walking like a zombie to the elevators. 

///

They all walked to the computer lab where they were taking Step One like they were walking to a funeral. Joel was muttering to himself, Zach was white as a sheet, and Alex looked like she was ready to murder someone. Maggie was silent and contemplative. She tried not to think about the test right now. It was better to let her mind rest before she began. But, the trouble with that was, that the moment she pushed the test away, Sydney popped up. She knew she would see Sydney there. Everyone in their class would be there. K was next to L in the alphabet, and they were always next each other for things like this. 

She walked into the lab and took her seat next to Sydney's, heartbeat picking up, torn between excited to see her and petrified of the exam. Sydney looked determined and ready at the screen. She also looked pretty, with her hair up, little glittering stud earrings showing, the milky white skin of her neck and chest exposed. Ignoring Maggie completely. Maggie felt like she was going to vomit, like she was in a tunnel moving fast, fast, faster. 

After a moment, Sydney broke, looking over to her sympathetically and reached out her hand. A surprised Maggie took it like a lifeline. Her eyes were big, and shining, and all for Sydney. 

"You're going to do just fine, Maggie," She looked calmly and knowingly into Maggie's eyes. "You're ready for this." Sydney paused, and then said, "No peeking if you panic, though." Then she broke out into a bright smile. 

Maggie was so shocked at the joke that a quick laugh escaped her lips before she could control it. She covered her mouth and looked up apologetically at her classmates near her. When the proctor walked in she quickly dropped Sydney's hand, and turned to her screen.

"Thank you, Syd." 

///

Eight hours later Maggie found herself in the midst of her friends talking excitedly just outside of the computer lab. 

"Section seven was straight C's for me, mate." Joel said, clapping a hand on Zach's shoulder, Zach laughing at him like a hyena from delirious exhaustion, unable to catch his breath. 

Maggie was tired, mentally exhausted herself, when she was stirred from her stupor. 

"C'mon, Katz, we're going to grab a beer," Alex, of all people, said to Sydney as she walked by. 

She contemplated the group for a moment. "I can't, I've got to get home early-" she stole the tiniest of glances at Maggie before finishing, "and then pack. I start my internship in Oxford on Monday."

"Oh no you don't," Zach said. "You're not getting out of Harvard without one wild night of celebration with us."

"It's okay, Syd." Maggie said, feeling like all the air was leaving her lungs, replaced by shattered glass, as she drew a quick breath, the familiar pain of _Sydney_ shooting down to her fingertips. "Don't let him peer pressure you. Wouldn't want you to be tired for Oxford." Maggie looked up then, connecting her eyes with Sydney's, almost defiant. Daring her to walk away right now without saying goodbye. 

Sydney knew if she went with Maggie tonight she may never get on that plane in the morning. So she accepted the dare in Maggie's eyes, and she walked away.

"Her loss, mate." Joel said, a hand squeezing Maggie's shoulder. 

"No, it's mine." Maggie said, watching her go.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. Feedback and edits are always awesome.

///

_Fifteen Months Later_

///

"The crisp smell of Harvard in August." Maggie said musically, breathing in deeply, and smiling into the sun. 

"I much prefer the smell of freshmeat grilling at the end of day one." Zach said, referencing the incoming year one med students who were all in for a rude awakening.

Alex looked over at him critically, but it didn't quite reach her dancing eyes, "Zach, you can't mentor with that type of attitude."

"I rule with an iron fist. If they can't hang - then they hang."

"Mhmm, kind of like how you couldn't hang after the first week of med school?" Maggie said, bringing up Zach's first and only meltdown.

"My _grandma_ died." Zach said, offended.

Maggie winced and nodded her head, remembering that was indeed what brought it on.

"So then you'll have a dead grandparent exception to your iron fist leadership style?" Alex inquired. 

"Nope."

///

Maggie stared into the faces of the tiny, shiny, year one students. "Okay, recruits. A TAVI is a minimally invasive way of replacing a diseased aortic valve. In the old days they would crack the chest and do open heart surgery. However, this takes way less time, and for some higher risk patients, it's the only option. We'll be replacing the diseased pig valve with one grown from bovine tissue. A valve that I grew, painstaking, with Dr. Bell." 

Maggie looked around menacingly at the small group of first years, and heard a tall guy with thick eyebrows and a goofy face whisper, "She's talking about Dr. Dragon." 

"Billy! Do you think what you have to say is more important than what I'm saying?" Maggie squinted at him while he swallowed.

"No sir - ma'am, no, I'm just eager to get inside this pig." 

"Well, I'm glad to hear that because one of you-," Maggie looked at them all again, resting her smiling face on the worried gaze of a pretty brunette, "will be assisting me. But only one of you. You have two weeks to show me who deserves it."

A blonde's hand went up instantly, "How do I show you?!"

"I drink a skim mocha with an extra espresso shot." Maggie smirked and turned around to head out to the clinic for the day. She was having a blast with her mentees. When she was about to reach the door she heard a soft, "Dr. Lin?"

The pretty brunette with a serious face. "Bree. For like the third time, I'm not a doctor yet. Please, call me Maggie." Maggie said giving her a reassuring smile. 

"I was just wondering. If each fourth year got paired with a first year, then why are there two or three of us to every one of you?" _A quietly intelligent one_ , Maggie thought.

"Because some fourth years don't take on mentees." Maggie paused then added, "Also, at least one of you will fail out before the year is over." Maggie turned around for the door, but thought better of it, turning to face Bree again.

"Not you, though." Maggie's eyes twinkled at her as her voice grew to a whisper. "My money's on Billy." 

Bree laughed, and Maggie was momentarily dazed by her smile, a surge of pride working its way through her. She did that. She was going to be a good mentor. 

///

"Dr. Harris is looking at you again." Maggie whispered to Alex who pointedly kept checking the lines on her pig. 

"Alex, I'm not sure if you heard me. I said-"

"Maggie! Not now!" Maggie heard the rapid beeping on the heart monitor.

"He's Tachycardic. Push an amp of epi and ride his chest."

"How much, it's a pig!?" Maggie said, hands knocking over a few bottles of medications trying to fill the syringe. 

Dr. Harris jogged over, "Before you fill this pig with adrenalin, do you think you're forgetting anything?" He smiled, blue eyes twinkling, holding a line in his hand.

The heart line wasn't connected all the way. 

Alex and Maggie made eye contact trying not to laugh as their pig settled into the sweet sounds of sinus rhythm. 

"I was just checking the lines, you know." Alex said playfully to Dr. Harris as he walked away. 

"Uh Huh."

///

"So what was that in there?" Maggie asked, amused. 

"It's really not appropriate to have this conversation in the quad, Maggie."

"What conversation?" Zach jogged up eating an apple. 

"Alex and Dr. H-"

"Dev!" Alex said loudly, interrupted the conversation. A tall India guy turned around slightly panicked, and made his way over to them.

"Alex, hey, is there anything I can do for you?" Dev was polite and anxious. Maggie smirked, knowing Alex was lording the pig over her mentees too. 

"Have you met Maggie and Zach? Maggie - Zach, this is Dev, one of my more promising mentees." 

"Yeah, we uh, met the other night when I dropped off chinese for you guys." He waved awkwardly. 

"I was just headed to the library. Why don't you come with me and show me your entry plan." Alex said, guiding Dev off and away from the group.

Maggie blew some hair off her face while she kept pace with Zach. "That woman is in some serious denial. She literally just ditched us because she didn't want to talk about her thing with Dr. Harris. "

"I'm just happy she has a thing with anyone after Joel, to be quite honest." Zach said crunching into his apple. 

"Yeah, sometimes I miss him, and then I remember he's a total ass." Maggie said simply, looking off into the distance. "Zach, have you ever cheated on someone?"

"No. Have you?"

"No." Maggie said, looking at him like he asked a super rude question. "God, of course not!" 

"O-kay. Well, I'm going to have lunch with Melanda."

"Is that the mentee you've been sleeping with?"

"We are not-"

"You're not fooling anyone. Bye. See you. Enjoy your lunch." Maggie said quickly, smiling, her eyebrows moving up and down, walking backwards slightly. 

She turned around to head toward the cafe when she saw Bree with a girl on a blanket under the big tree. Harvard at lunchtime was a bustling place. 

"Hey Bree, who's your friend?" Maggie walked up jovially. 

"Fiancé actually." The girl said rather coolly, fixing her gaze on Maggie. 

Bree nudged gently at her fiancé. It was a nonverbal _be chill, babe._ The way people who have been together for a long time communicate. 

Maggie's eyebrows rose, her mouth forming a little circle. "My apologies, I did not know. My name is Maggie, I'm Bree's mentor." Maggie extended a hand which Violet shook. Maggie was smiling down at her now, but it wasn't genuine. Something about this girl was already rubbing her the wrong way. 

"Hey, Maggie." Bree said, giving her a small smile. "I've been wanting to introduce you to Violet. She's a first year med student too." 

"That. That is so great. You two - getting to go through this together." Maggie said, over enthusiastically, hands on her hips. She was ready to get out of this suddenly awkward interaction. 

"You seem really nice. My mentor is, like, a super ice queen." Violet offered conversationally.

"Oh yeah, who's your mentor?" Maggie asked, curious. 

"We call her the Red Dragon. Kinda like Dr. Bell, but with red hair." Violet laughed, and Bree smiled at her, her eyes crinkling at the corners. 

"What's her actual name?" Maggie said, trying to keep her face straight, her heartbeat suddenly thundering in her chest.

"Sydney Katz." 

"S-Sydney Katz, are you sure?"

"Uh, yeah, why?" Violet and Bree were both looking at Maggie, noticing the change in her demeanor.

"She's suppose to be in Oxford." Maggie mumbled out. 

"You know her?" Violet said putting a grape in her mouth. "Sorry if she's your friend. The whole red-" 

"Yeah, and actually, that's no way to talk about your mentor, so, maybe- just- stop." Maggie said, a flat attempt at defending Sydney's honor. She turned around trying to get her bearings. She took off for the cafe her mind going in a million directions. 

Sydney Katz was back at Harvard. 

///

"She's here somewhere. Just walking around. Terrorizing her mentees. With her eyes and those tiny freckles on her shoulders-"

"Okay, Maggie, I get it." Alex said, eyes widening. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I don't even know if her number is the same. I mean, if she's back, why don't you think she's tried to contact me? Maybe she doesn't want to see me."

"Maybe she thinks you don't want to see her. I mean, do you still have feelings for her?"

"I don't know." _Yes_. "I don't know if I'm ready to see her again, Alex." 

"Well, you don't have to do anything about it now. Just watch your back!" Alex said, laughing at the end, knowing Maggie was about to spend her days looking over her shoulder.

"Ha. Ha." Maggie said sarcastically. "Can we just keep this between you and me? I don't really want to deal with Zach on this."

"He still running that dating profile for you?"

Maggie groaned. "Yes, it's so embarrassing."

///

"Maggie. Just the girl I wanted to see."

"Zach." Maggie said in greeting, looking at him wearily from the corner of her eye. She returned to reading her textbook.

Zach pulled up a chair and sat on it backwards, long legs sticking out from either side, facing Maggie directly. "You will not guess who I just ran into in the quad."

"Sydney."  
"Sydney Katz." Maggie and Alex both replied at once, deadpan.

"Wait you knew?" Zach said, looking between them betrayed. 

Maggie exhaled. One day. It took one day for Zach to find her. 

"Yes." Maggie replied. Alex had decided wisely to sit the rest of this conversation out. 

"And you didn't think this was pertinent information to give me? I run your dating profile, Maggie! I've got to suspend it."

"What?" Maggie turned around and looked at him incredulously. "Look, I hate your stupid mission to constantly get me laid-"

"Get you into a relationship." Zach interrupted, dead serious.

"Buuuuut," Maggie drew out, "Sydney being back has nothing to do with my dating life."

"Why not? I mean she's back at Harvard, newly single. You're forever alone-"

"What do you mean 'newly single'?" Maggie asked despite herself, annoyed. 

"Her blonde, Jewish girlfriend from Oxford?" Zach said looking at Maggie like she was dumb. "The one that's been all over her Facebook profile for like the last eight months? Maggie, how do you not know this? She's gone radio silent on Sydney's social media for like a month now. Deleted all of their pics on her profile. They are definitely donezo."

"This- how - why would you even know all this?" Maggie was looking at Zach with a mixture of wonderment, incredulity, and very squinty eyes. "You know what, I don't care. Delete my account, stalk Sydney's love life, do whatever you want, I'm trying to study." 

Maggie felt like she had been dropped into a water tank. Senses muffled, and a body full of shooting pains, as she tried to muddle through all this new information. Sydney being with someone else, another girl besides her, hadn't really occurred to her in any concrete sense, but now these visuals were popping up and-

Zach stood up. "This is good for you, Maggie. This is going to be good, I feel it."

"When has Sydney Katz ever been good for Maggie?" Alex chimed in suddenly.

"Hey." Maggie said, offended, her hand twitching toward her phone. She was dying to check Sydney's Facebook to see if what Zach was saying was right, but she couldn't do it here.

"I mean, I'm just saying, maybe we should all just relax and not go playing matchmaker before we find out if she's even here to stay." Alex said, looking pointedly at Zach as he was leaving the room.

"She's here to stay. I can feel it." Zach said over his shoulder.

"Can you stop feeling things about Sydney. It's weird." Maggie yelled the last part after him, the study room door already closed. 

///

"Maggie, hey." Bree came jogging up to Maggie the next morning. "I am so sorry about Violet."

"Is that for me?" Maggie pointed to a coffee in Bree's hand and she smiled wide.

"Yes, just like you like it, skim mocha with an extra shot of espresso."

"Cool." Maggie smiled, nodding her head, waiting a beat for Bree to hand it to her.

"Are you gonna-"

"Oh yeah, here, sorry." Bree said extending the coffee to Maggie. She closed her eyes for a fraction of a second, shaking her head like she messed up again. 

"Don't worry about it. I know Sydney can be kind of-" Maggie paused trying to think of the word. "Intimidating."

"I've never met her. I'm sure Violet's just exaggerating. She's having a harder time than me adjusting to all this." Bree looked around her as if the scene spoke for itself. 

"You're doing great though." Maggie said quickly, finding herself admiring the way Bree's eyebrows were perfectly formed, and the way her intelligence seemed to shine through her warm brown eyes. 

"Yeah. I like it here." Bree laughed nervously taking a step towards Maggie.

Then Maggie heard a voice behind her that she hadn't heard in over a year.

"Hey, stranger." It was slightly scruffy, calling to her like an old memory, an infinitely happy one, and it was 100% Sydney Katz. 

Maggie whipped around eyes wide. Bree reacted suddenly too, stepping away from Maggie, seeing the red hair, and putting it all together. She whispered, "I'm just going to go," and slipped away. Maggie sort of waived goodbye at her without turning around. 

"That was Bree." Maggie gestured to her mentee's retreating form, at a total loss of what to say. "She might be afraid of you." She couldn't take her eyes off of Sydney's face. So pretty still, more pretty, if possible. Her hair was longer and curled at the ends. Her glasses were gone, and her clothes were different. Her blouse was flowing and deep cut, and Maggie was doing her best just to catch her breath. 

"I can see that. You're drinking her coffee. Bree." Sydney read, a hardness in her voice, as she traced the name on Maggie's cup with a finger, drawing Maggie's attention to it. 

"Oh no, not her coffee. She brought me this. She's my mentee, and you know the pigs, and she's got a fiancé. Female. Not that it really matters." Maggie spoke, gesturing around, feeling guilty for some reason.

"You don't have to explain to me, Maggie." Sydney said, but her face was softer, brighter, realizing that Bree was just her mentee. "It's good to see you." Sydney said it softly, and it was so pure that it cracked Maggie's chest open, making her sad and angry suddenly. 

"You never called." 

" _Maggie._ "

"I've got to go." Maggie said, turning to leave, feeling like her emotions were going to get the best of her.

"Maggie," Sydney called out. Maggie stopped and turned to look at her. "If I were to call you, you know, sometime soon, would you answer?" Sydney was playing with her fingers, looking hopeful. 

Maggie smiled just a tiny bit, her heart swelling through the confusion, "Maybe."


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback and edits are always appreciated! Also, if you want to watch Bree, Violet, and Maggie’s storyline in season 5, watch 5x2, 5x5, 5x6, and 5x7. Just in case there are any readers who have only seen Lintz compilations and have no idea who Bree and Violet are.

Maggie was working on her pig in the lab when she heard a voice coming from the doorway. "You're too skinny."

Sydney was leaning against the door frame appraising her. 

"Are you Jewish mothering me or ex-girlfriending me right now?" Maggie spun around, tugging her shirt at the hem, straightening it out, feeling slightly insecure under Sydney's gaze. 

"I didn't know we were exes."

"You didn't know we were arch nemeses either."

Sydney thought on that memory for a beat before saying, "Fair enough."

Maggie smiled, stuck in place, taking in the sight of Sydney. 

Bree cleared her throat awkwardly and Maggie turned back to her having totally forgotten she was there. "You're doing great. I'm just going to - really quick." Maggie gestured over to Sydney's direction.

"Let's get some food in you." Sydney said as Maggie came closer to the door, still looking like she was seeing a ghost. "You need to eat before your TAVI." 

"I really can't, I've got to get Bree prepped."

"She's fine." Sydney said, waiving her off with a hand, extending her neck slightly to view Bree in the back of the room. The younger student's hand trembled slightly as she stroked the pig below her. "Wait, is she petting it?" Sydney asked, her head bobbing back, aghast.

Maggie winced. "She's having trouble with the idea of working on an anesthetized pig." Maggie looked over her shoulder quickly at Bree then back at Sydney. "She named him Bradley."

"Pick another mentee. That girl isn't going to make it through this procedure." Sydney said dismissively, shaking her head. "What is with this incoming generation, so soft and-"

"I'm pretty sure Bree is older than you."

"I've got her fiancé, you know." Sydney said, crossing her arms, looking over at Bree with slight disgust as she mewed down at her pig. Maggie tried to move her body to the side to block Sydney's view of Bree as Sydney continued, "Violet's not going to make it either. The worst of my bunch and a really bad attitude." 

"Bree's going to make it. I've been working with her. She's got a lot of potential, you just need to give her a chance." Maggie said, trying to keep the passion out of her voice as she defended Bree. "Maybe you're too hard on Violet so she chokes around you." Maggie suggested on eggshells, hearing the nickname 'Red Dragon' echo in her mind.

"Nah. This is different. She doesn't _want_ this." Sydney said, making intense eye contact with Maggie, causing her to swallow involuntarily. "And anyway, doctors work under the most stressful conditions. If she can't handle my demands, then she doesn't stand a chance at this school, let alone the real world."

"Well, you might be right about Violet, but you're wrong about Bree." Maggie said, determination filtering through her usually musical tones.

Sydney put her hands up, "Okay, I trust you, Maggie." She didn't want a fight. What she wanted was- "I've got a blanket and a couple of sandwiches in my bag. Take a thirty minute break and eat lunch with me." Sydney's head was tilted to the side. She was looking up at Maggie with hopeful eyes, as if there was no bad blood between them. As if there was nothing unusual about them going for a picnic together on the Harvard lawn. 

Maggie contemplated Sydney, biting her lip, torn between her responsibilities and the wild energy that coursed through her whenever Sydney was around. "Okay, thirty minutes." Maggie said, smiling back hesitantly at Sydney in response to her triumphant smile.

///

Maggie bit into her sandwich, sunglasses facing toward Sydney, laid out on her side on a big quilt under the tree. "You ever talk to Hershel?" She felt so much in this quiet moment with Sydney but couldn't seem to say anything of substance. She was still trying to process that Sydney was even there. Right there. Across from her right now. 

"No, no, that's a burned bridge." Sydney said. "I know he graduated last year. Top five percent."

Maggie nodded her head, picking up a grape to keep her hands busy, flipping onto her back, observing the strips of blue sky between the tree branches. 

"I tried calling you and texting you a few times the past couple weeks." Sydney said, her eyes running over Maggie's body. 

"I've been really busy," Maggie mumbled, her eyes shifting away toward the thick trunk of the tree. "The TAVI is in three hours." 

"Yeah. Well, I've missed you. I'm glad we're here now." Sydney said it conversationally, not romantically, but Maggie's heart still skipped a beat anyway, _possibly in afib_ , she quickly diagnosed, her palms growing sweaty. 

"I saw on Facebook you had a girlfriend in Oxford." Maggie said, keeping on the offensive, trying to stitch up her own bleeding chest just as quickly as it was being cut open. 

Sydney nodded her head, a grimace appearing on her face. "Ex-girlfriend." She said carefully, trying not to make a big deal about it. 

Maggie turned her head to face Sydney again, meeting her eyes, still on her back. "Jewish?"

"Do you really need those sunglasses on right now? And, yes. Reform." Sydney was wary of the sudden onslaught of questions about her personal life. She felt a hostile shift in Maggie, like she was using her as a pin cushion, every question needling in. 

"Better than me in bed?" Maggie asked after taking her sunglasses off and tossing them toward her feet. Sydney furrowed her brow at the question. 

Maggie had taken even herself by surprise.

"Different." Sydney said, cautiously. 

"Wow, so, better, huh?" Maggie was nodding her head in agreement with herself, not sure herself why she had decided to blow this whole conversation up. She had apparently been holding on to a grenade of anger and resentment, and it turns out she couldn't just lay across from Sydney on a blanket after everything. After a year. After Sydney left when she could have stayed. After Sydney didn't try once to contact her. 

"This is a ridiculous conversation, Maggie." Sydney chided affectionately, trying to reach out for Maggie's hand, but Maggie withdrew it out of Sydney's reach, sitting up Indian style. Sydney followed suit, mirroring her.

"Was there anyone else while you were there? Besides her?"

Sydney looked apologetically into Maggie's eyes. "Yes. Once. Before Sarah."

"How fun." Maggie replied sarcastically, feeling crushed, tears prickling behind her eyes. Sydney must have taken no time at all to get over her. She was looking accusingly at Sydney for some violation that she knew she didn't have the rights to, but that didn't stop her from feeling it. 

Sydney scooted in closer on her knees, not wanting to fight, just trying to soften the blow. "Don't act like you haven't been with anyone since me." She said it like it was a given. She didn't seem to be aware of how deeply this was cutting into Maggie. 

"I haven't." Maggie said, giant brown eyes wet and hurt. Her voice was still steady.

Sydney wanted to hug her, to hold her, but she knew Maggie would reject any attempt at this point, so Sydney just stayed like that, her legs folded under herself, shocked at the revelation, at a loss for what to say. Feeling like she was trying to put Band-Aids on a triple bypass, and her patient was bleeding out on the table. _Start the clock, push everything, don't give up,_ she thought, just like a doctor. But this couldn't be fixed by a good doctor, this was the type of hurt that Sydney couldn't heal. 

Maggie started talking again before Sydney had thought of how to respond.

"So what happened with the girlfriend?" She discreetly wiped under her eye with a knuckle, sucking in a breath, back into interrogation mode.

"Well, she's still at Oxford, so..." Sydney looked away. She didn't think this lunch was going to be like this. This is frustrating and hard and too soon. 

"So you're just leaving girls behind on every continent." Maggie was smiling at her own line, but it wasn't friendly. If she was trying to push Sydney away then it was working. 

Sydney stared guiltily at Maggie before starting to pack up her things. "Maybe we just need some more time." It came out croaky and whispered. Sydney was finally starting to realize that Maggie wasn't going to make this easy for her, and that maybe, she didn't deserve for it to be easy.

Maggie looked around, crossing her arms, like Sydney was the one being irrational. Her voice was cold and louder. "Leaving so soon?" Maggie continued to drive the knife in, this last sarcastic comment driving right through Sydney's guilt, and straight into her anger.

"You want to blame this all on me, but I wasn't the only one who messed up between us, Maggie." Sydney said, attitude thick, getting up to leave. 

"Yeah, but you were the only one who left. I've been here. I'm still here." Maggie said the last part with no anger, just a simple, genuine confession. 

Sydney felt like she was being pulled back into a time machine. Being forced to watch Maggie as she slowly walked around a deserted campus along the paths they used to take together. Felt the keen ghost of Maggie's hard grasp on her skin, the sounds of love making, the pepper of bite marks and bruises in the mirror afterwards because Maggie couldn't control herself. Watched the mirror shatter, the intimacy with it, an echo of their laughter, a splash of water, and then Maggie alone, all alone, night after night while Sydney was finding herself with the first girl who wouldn't remind her of the one she left behind. It was too painful for her to feel all at once, with _this_ Maggie's gaze fixed on her, this new Maggie with a heavier heart, less quick to smile, demanding something of her she didn't know how to give. She wanted the whole year that Sydney stole back, wanted to fight for it, with students and professors passing by all the while. Sydney didn't know what to do or say, so she did the wrong thing, the easy thing, and left. As fast as she could. 

Maggie watched her go in disbelief for a moment before saying to her back - 

"Yeah, just walk away like you always do." She regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth. 

She folded the blanket, tucking it under her arm, blowing a piece of hair out of her eye as she stared down the direction Sydney took off in. She was doing such a terrible job of trying to get Sydney back that she was starting to wonder, after over a year of pining, if this was even what she wanted anymore. The thought made her chest ache. 

///

"I can't believe Dr. Bell is giving her the lead after she's been gone for a year. She's going to instruct me through _my_ procedure? No. I fought for these pigs. And this opportunity. And here she is, back on her white horse from Oxford, just swooping in and taking it out from under me like it's her damn birthright." Alex was practically spitting when Dr. Bell told her Sydney was going to take the reins on the TAVI. 

"Unbelievable." Maggie said in complete solidarity. She was still reeling from their lunch, staring daggers at Sydney right along with Alex. 

Alex was momentarily surprised at how convincingly Maggie agreed, but quickly focused back on herself. "Did you know Dr. Bell used to be married to Dr. Harris? That's what's going on here. I know it is. She's a real piece of work." Alex said, still going off. 

"So unfair. Completely unprofessional behavior." Maggie said, shaking her head, her lips in a thin line. 

"Maggie?" Bree returned with about ten minutes to spare before the procedure, her eyes red.

"Bree? Where have you been? What's the matter?" Maggie took Bree off to the side, hand on her shoulder, heads huddled together, trying to use her body to block Bree from the view of her classmates both in the room and sitting in the viewing gallery. "Now's not the time to lose it." Maggie whispered urgently. "Remember, Bradley needs this TAVI to survive now, whether or not you think this is ethnical - the damage is done and must be repaired." 

Bree had been shaking her head silently and finally said, "It's not Bradley. It's Violet. She left."

"What do you mean she left? Where did she go?"

"She left Harvard, our apartment, me. All week I thought she was jealous I was chosen for this, you know, when she didn't get it. But it was more than that. She hasn't been happy for a while."

Maggie groaned and stared up at the ceiling for a beat. _Why today, of all days, Violet, you piece of -_ "Bree look at me. We're all humans just trying to make it in this world. Terrible things are going to happen to us. But you and me, we're more than just humans, we're doctors. And when those terrible things happen, we are the ones who have to walk into the OR with steady hands and sharp minds and fix them. No matter what happens to us before or after. It's what's required of us. It's what's required of you. It's what _Bradley_ requires of you." 

Bree was staring intently at Maggie, nodding along, her eyes drying. "You're right. You're right. Okay. I'm ready. Let's do this." 

///

"Is this Kelly Clarkson?" Maggie asked, scooting Bree over, and wiggling her way onto the couch. 

Bree nodded. "She's my favorite singer." 

Maggie smiled, her dimples deep, chuckling a bit. "You have very questionable taste in music."

"Hey!" Bree said, taking mock offense. "Well, you have very questionable taste in women." She peered over at Maggie to see her reaction, and then quickly said, "I guess I have questionable taste in women too." She ended quietly, her new reality hitting her fresh every few minutes. 

"Women are the worst." Maggie huffed out, sipping her beer. 

"We're women."

"Right, right, but I mean, women at Harvard. Female medical students."

"But we're female medical students at -"

"Okay, okay, how about - the women we date suck." Maggie said, spinning her hands in the air as she searched for what she meant. 

"Yeah. Definitely." Bree cracked a smile at that. "I can't imagine falling for the Red Dragon. Tough break."

Maggie bristled slightly at that, but she let it go. "What are you going to do now?" She turned to look seriously at Bree.

"I don't know. I can't afford our place by myself. I have to be out by the end of the week. I've never been without Violet. I haven't been alone since high school." Bree confessed all at once, her face worried and scared. "She wanted to move to Boston, so I did too. She wanted to be a doctor, so I did too. She wanted to get married, so I did too. I just always wanted what she wanted. I feel like a fraud now. Like I don't belong here without her here too."

Her words stirred something sad and deep in Maggie. Maybe it was because she was her mentor and felt some kind of responsibility toward her. Maybe it was because she had been left behind recently too. She just wanted to fix all the bad in Bree's life, because Bree, of all people in this snake's pit, deserved the good. 

"No one belongs here more than you. You're the point to this," Maggie said. Bree stared at her for a moment, a small smile playing at her lips, before Maggie continued, "You were so good in there today. The best of your class. And none of the other mentees had been dumped right beforehand either." Maggie said, truly meaning it. 

"Come on, better than Dev? I don't think so."

"Dev killed his pig!" Maggie looked at Bree like she was crazy for not seeing how good she was. "You were a beast in there. I had to help Alex and Dev and you took over for me. You saved Bradley's life. You inflated the balloon at the exact right height. Even a millimeter difference, and he would be dead right now. He'll be living the rest of his days happy on a farm somewhere. And you learned a skill that will allow you to save lives one day. Human lives."

"I could barely watch you cut into him."

"That will come with time. It's because you have a big heart. You care. The skills you learn here will make you a good doctor, Bree, but caring, that can't be taught. That's what will make you a great doctor."

Bree was looking at Maggie with something in her eyes that Maggie couldn't quite place before she said, "Thank you, Maggie. You're, like, my kickass guardian angel." 

Maggie bit her lip, contemplating Bree. 

"Hey, why don't you crash here on the couch for a little while until you can find a roommate?"

"What? No, I couldn't do that."

"No, really, I want you too. Where else are you going to go with a week's notice that's close enough to campus? I ... understand what you're going through. It's the least I could do." Maggie smiled as Bree nodded her head.

"Okay, yeah. Just like, a couple weeks until I can find a place, then I'm gone." 

"Ground rules, though. No Kelly Clarkson before 5pm."

Bree laughed. "Deal."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. Leave me feedback or edits. They are much appreciated.

///

"Don't you think you should have run this by me first?!" Alex said a few days later, doing her best to yell at Maggie in a whisper as Bree snored lightly on the couch behind them, an overflowing duffle bag spilling out clothes and giant textbooks into the middle of the living room. 

Maggie made bug eyes at Alex, holding a finger up to her own lips to shush her, and gestured for Alex to follow her into the bedroom. She closed her door and turned some music on to drown out their voices in case Bree woke up. "She had nowhere else to go. Violet left her without a place to live." 

"This isn't a stray lesbian shelter, Maggie. This place is small enough for the two of us as it is."

"It's only for a couple weeks. Maybe less. We put up roommate flyers for her all over, craigslist ads, she'll find something really soon." 

"Is there something going on between the two of you?"

"What? No!" Maggie said, taken aback. "I'm her mentor!" 

"Please, like that means anything. Zach and Melanda have practically moved in together, and he's hers." 

"No." Maggie said firmly, her hand up. "It's not like that. I just ... know what it's like, and I want to help her." Maggie finished simply. 

"Okay, had to ask." 

"So can she stay?" Maggie asked, big puppy dog eyes pleading. "And you'll be nice to her?"

"Two weeks, Maggie. She's got two weeks." 

///

"Zach." Sydney rounded the corner and spotted just the Yenta she had been looking for.

"Hey, look what the Katz dragged in." Zach said, pulling out a chair for her.

"Oh, I forgot how funny you are." Sydney replied, not quite smiling, but her eyes were amused. 

"What can I do for you?" Zach said, taking a big bite of his sandwich. 

"It's about Maggie, actually." 

He nodded knowingly, gesturing with his hand for her to continue, unable to speak through his bite.

"I'm having a hard time getting ahold of her. Last time we spoke it didn't ... end well." Sydney said, wincing at the memory. "Has she mentioned me at all?"

Zach took a drink of his water, finally able to speak. "Honestly, not recently. She's taken in Bree as her pet project, so I haven't really had much one on one time."

"What do you mean 'taken in?'" Something inside Sydney went off like a siren in the distance. She knew Violet, her mentee, had left Harvard, but she never stopped to think what that meant for Bree. 

"She's staying at Alex's place. On the couch."

"That sounds like a full house," Sydney said, slightly annoyed. "Maggie and Bree, are they-" Sydney couldn't finish the thought, but she needed to know.

"Totally platonic as far as I know. Although I will say, I do sense some chemistry. If I were you, I'd get in there and get my girl back - quickly." He finished his thought dramatically. 

"And how exactly am I suppose to do that when she's actively avoiding me?" Sydney asked the question more rhetorically than anything, her hand to her head, rubbing a small headache. 

"I might have some helpful information. But I'm a little too famished to recall it at the moment."

Sydney looked up at him, eyes critical. "You're literally eating. Right now."

"I am, but one sandwich usually doesn't do it for me. Growing man and all that."

"Are you hustling me for a sandwich right now?" Sydney asked, not amused at all anymore. 

Zach just smiled at her, blinking his eyes. 

Ten minutes later Sydney was back with about five different kinds of sandwiches.

"Tell me what you know." 

///

"How did you find me here?" Maggie didn't even need to look up. 

"Zach." Sydney threw her informant under the bus faster than it took him to swindle her earlier. "He was hungry and broke. I couldn't find you. We traded."

Maggie just hummed in acknowledgment. Sydney counted it as a win that Maggie wasn't throwing anything at her right now. She walked in closer, her hands clasped in front of her, her heart suddenly in her throat. Maggie stood up, letting Sydney come into her space, and looked down at her, arms crossed, waiting. 

"Look, I know the last time we spoke was not good, and I know I didn't handle it well. But you got to say _a lot_ of your things, and I didn't get to say any of mine." 

Maggie nodded her head, her eyes softening at the nervous breathlessness in Sydney's voice. Her heart was tap, tap, tapping. 

"There's something I need to tell you. I thought it could wait, but after the other day, it can't, so uh, just listen."

"O-kay." Maggie's heart went from a quickening tap to a drum pounding in her chest. _She's leaving again, her girlfriend is coming to Harvard, she's engaged, she's dying._ Maggie ran through a dramatic list of possibilities in her mind in the split second it took for Sydney to speak again. 

"Um," Sydney smiled nervously, and then started. "When I was in Oxford, I thought about you everyday." She ended in a whisper, having stolen every scrap of Maggie's attention. 

"I thought about you too." Maggie forgot she wasn't suppose to talk. It spilled out of her before she remembered to be wary of her.

Sydney took her by surprise in response, grabbing her face with two gentle hands and kissing her right on the mouth. Maggie didn't think she'd ever been kissed with that type of hope before. She forgot how this felt, how Sydney felt. Her old memories on loop never coming close to doing this justice. 

When Sydney pulled back she looked at Maggie, her hands sliding off, her voice free of nerves. "I want to find out if we can be something. I just need to know if you still do too."

Just then Dr. Kinney walked in talking full speed about veins and Maggie's inadequacies regarding them. She stopped at the scene in front of her. "Sydney, Maggie." She looked between two suspiciously. Sydney reluctantly stepped out of Maggie's personal space. 

"Professor, Kinney." Sydney said politely, before turning to leave. 

Maggie eye's connected with Sydney's one more time as she was closing the door behind her. Sydney Katz had never really told her how she felt about her. In the past, Maggie could feel how she felt about her, between her legs, on her skin, in her eyes, but never this type of verbal affirmation. Never this type of promise of commitment. After all the chasing Maggie's done, after all the time that's passed - here she is. Everything Maggie's ever wanted, wanting her back, and it absolutely paralyzed her with fear.

///

"Zach, you literally sold me out for a sandwich."

"I was hungry. And it was five sandwiches, which if we're-"

"I'm suppose to be your best friend!"

"Look, I was helping you! And helping her. And getting a free lunch at the same time. You guys belong together. Stop fighting it already so I can eat my meals in peace."

Maggie walked past him, deliberately bumping into his arm causing yet another one of his sandwiches to fall apart in his hands.

"Real nice, Lin. Very mature." Zach said, picking lettuce off of his lap and returning to his textbook. 

///

Three days later Maggie was banging on the coffee maker.

"If you break that you're buying me a new one." Alex called out, one heel in her hand, trying to put an earring in her ear.

"You look nice. Where you headed off to?" Maggie said curiously in response, ignoring the threat.

Bree peeked her head up over the couch. "Wow." 

Alex turned slightly to smile at Bree but it came out more like a grimace. "I'm not going anywhere if I can't find my other heel." 

She kicked around some stuff on the floor, mostly Bree's, before she glanced up and caught sight of it through Maggie's open bedroom door, poking out from under the bed. "Seriously, Maggie?" Alex went to retrieve her stolen heel, putting it on, and straightening her dress back out.

"Don't stay up for me." And with an uncharacteristic wink at Maggie, Alex breezed out of the front door.

Bree and Maggie looked at each other and then burst into giggles.  


"Well, at least she has someone to go on dates with. Even if her choice is unorthodox. And old." Bree drawled out, pulling an open textbook off of her stomach and sitting up. 

Maggie gave up on coffee and went to join her on the couch. "Any luck in the search?"

"For a girlfriend or for an apartment?"

"You thinking about hopping into another relationship so soon?" Maggie said it seriously, unplanned, and the light atmosphere settled into something heavier. Bree glanced at her from the corner of her eye, suddenly growing very quiet.

"Hey, it's okay." Maggie said, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "I didn't mean to go there." 

"No. It's not you."

Maggie smiled at her gently, full of light again.

"Actually, it is you." Bree turned suddenly to face Maggie on the couch. 

Maggie pulled her head back in surprise at the sudden close proximity of Bree's face before she felt herself being pulled back in by the collar, fervent lips against hers. For the briefest of moments Maggie's lips kissed back, instinctively, but then she pulled away, eyes wide. With a kick to the gut, she realized she was going to have to let Bree down, to hurt her, the person she had taken under her wing to protect. She briefly wondered if this was the way Zach cared for her. Why Zach had always been in her corner, rooting for her to find love. All Maggie wanted was for Bree to be happy, but it couldn't be like this. Not this way. Not with her. 

"Bree." Maggie pushed her away, still holding onto her face. "No." She said it gently, full of caring. 

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." Bree paused. "Actually, no I'm not sorry. I like you, Maggie. And I know it might not be there for you yet, but -"

"Bree, stop. I want to be with someone else."

"Who?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It does matter. Who is she?"

"It's Syd. It's still her."

Bree sat back on the couch, her arms crossed, guarding herself. "I thought that was over. Didn't she, like, leave you and cheat on you or something-"

"There was no cheating." Maggie said, wondering how much gossip was floating around the med school about her. Then she corrected, "On her part, at least. I mean, not the kind of cheating you're implying." Maggie shook her head, trying to explain herself. "We're in a complicated place, but ... we're going to try and see if we can be something." Maggie said, echoing Sydney's words, realizing for the first time that she was sure now. That she was ready for the heartache if that's what it'd be. That she was ready for the rest of her life too, if that's what it'd be. 

"Great. Really happy for you two." Bree said, getting up suddenly, pulling on her boots.

"Bree, you don't have to go." Maggie got up too. 

"No, I think I do." 

///

Sydney was pacing at the landing of Maggie's apartment with a bouquet of flowers. Two years of dating women and this was the first time she thought of buying flowers. Maggie hadn't exactly run to her with open arms after her confession the other day, but she had something even better up her sleeve. A starlit dinner in Boston. Away from the University and everyone else. She'd take her across the ferry to an art gallery, where Maggie could wear that lipstick she likes, and those dangling earrings if she still had them, and then to this little rooftop cafe where they play jazz music under an open sky. An unofficial gay hangout. A place she would never have been caught dead in when she and Maggie were first starting out. She wanted to create new memories, good memories, to go as fast or as slow as Maggie wanted. To just go at all. She finally worked up her nerve, taking the steps. 

The first thing she noticed was that the blinds were open, the soft yellow light contrasting starkly with the black night, revealing the contents of the same apartment that Maggie had made love to her in almost two years ago. Then she saw two people on the couch. Mouths connected. Maggie and Bree. Understanding hit her fast and loud like a train.

Sydney stopped dead, the smile fading from her face, the flowers falling from her hand. She turned her back to them and left, her betrayed heart a wounded animal, snapping its teeth, clawing at her chest.

///


End file.
